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in my hands
Stuck in a motionless state.
Has fate been decided? Or should I decide fate. Contemplations reveal my life’s blemishes Like a bad oil painting, This artist can’t stand this. But why panic My options are not limited So many thoughts of failure, I start this race but never finish it. I know I can succeed, My pen’s holding the keys. My mind is the door, it’s always open And my heart is the window usually broken. Rejection is my friend, But why do I fear him. I cover my ears, but still I hear him. Got to get a way ill take a step out the door And ill fix the window I’ve done this before. This is my life it’s my destination Now ill put the keys to the door and fill out this college application |
hahaha... wow man this is a good verse.. i really liked the twist at the end.. At first i thought you were thinking of killing someone with your hand.. yeah i know wierd of me to think that.. then shortly after that i thought like.. oh.. wen u sed u have no limit or something like that i thought u were talking about writting a topical verse or something.. then thats wut i thought till the end wen u said the college thing?? haha good emotion... and good twist..
8/10 plz leave feed on my poem.. The Most Dangerous Disease |
lol thanks for the feed man i just hit yours up
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Good,solid drop right here, nice vocab and content, i liked the way you ended this like it was just your thoughts coming out about your future or college,is what i took from it..great job with this poem..keep em comin.1
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i liked the this one .. it was basic but somewhat complex you took the reader on a ride.. nice drop . i liked ur ending .. keep it up
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yo i really appreciate this feed back. thank you
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cough return the favor cough .. on the one titled bored off my ass
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feed has been returned
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bump..................
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up....yea......
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I absolutely LOVE how you constantly switched between emotions and posed questions to yourself as if you were torn apart between two extremes. I enjoyed the concept with the twist at the end...tell me about it *sigh* It is indeed quite uhm special those college applications (especially when you're applying to study abroad, trust me). Had some insightful lines in there that make readers stand still and think bout em. Nice piece. Like how you kept vocab rather simple to make message more powerful.
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