Wanna Change My Life??
 

i have lived my whole life as 1 big lie

hustling, stealing, robbing, & pimpin 2 get a big slice of the pie
also i'm known 4 drinkin' liquor & smokin' on lah 2 make the time pass by
"I Wanna Change My Life" but i've been the "Black Sheep" in my family
i try everythang in my power 2 keep from going crazy & losing my sanity
but fuck all them cuz i neva wanted 2 b brought 2 this dying world
where it'z main concerns r money, jewerly, drugs, alcohol, & :cussing:
so i say y should i try 2 change the world cuz it'z cursed all around me
then ur efforts end by u dying 1 of 2 ways either goin' 2 jail or in the ground G
i'm hellbound & born into sin as i enter my life existence out the womb
i'm gonna watch out 4 hataz cuz at age 6 they already predicted my doom
that's y i live in complete silence & isolate myself from everybody here
i'ma live "Thugged Out" til my last breath & like a "Ghost" just disappear

Very strong emotion in this one, like straight spitting from the core...Just talking about your life and everything but you portrayed it in such a vivid, expressive way. For many people this is easy to relate to but that doesn't go for me and yet I was really feeling what you were saying. You managed to make me picture everything inside my mind, kept it real with your vocab and everything. Had this "in your face" attitude which I loved.

Nice piece

DQ

I was reallly freeling this poem man.. nice job.. the emotion was on point.. and u have okay imagery.. but you should try to show some imagery to make it easier to understand.

Nice poem. Great use of words and vocabulary. There was a strong sense of emotion throughout the whole of the piece. Great use of imagery used to portray the different events and emotions.
It shows a great emotion of independance but a greater image of lonliness.

Overall great poem man. Try to structure it a bit better next time. Thats about the only thing about it I can see thats a bit off. Really liked it. =() )