|
~she will never love me like she hates you~
~she will never love me like she hates you~ . you took her love, her smile and soul shredded her heart, made her cold I miss the laugh, her strut and glow pulled her so deep down into a hole she will never love me like she hates you you took her shine, destroyed her spirit you gave threats untill she feared it she could've loved you, you came near it I couldnt bare the story, no i wont hear it she will never love me like she hates you I couldnt understand, I kept repenting the anger built so long, without venting the helpless fealing, so condescending that one night had such a selfish ending she will never love me like she hates you I stay by her side, I watch her worsen you took advantage, I hope its hurtin left her hating self, what a hellish burden why does she suffer, your the evil person she will never love me like she hates you . ~rape~ |
Again a very nice piece it . was really deep for such basic vocab...but i think for this piece it really needed the basic vocab to convey the message.. very very nice drop
|
it was a nice piece neva the less but ur lines r so basic & elementary u need 2 step that shit up fo sho but overall i'll give it 7.0/10 cuz at least ur structure was on point, & u did make an attempt 2 convey ur message by touching the base of ur topic make sure 2 return the favor in my poem : Wanna Change My Life??
|
I love the hate/love-concept because I've been through this before so I know exactly what you're saying here. The emotion was strong and raw, managed to portray the feelings and struggle quite well. Vocab was a little too basic, I don't mind that usually but try to get more in it next time (I'm also working on it because mine's quite basic too). But that didn't affect the content of the piece whatsoever. Just try to have that bit more, it will help readers to form a picture inside their mind and such. But this was a good drop for sure!
DQ |
yea ill give you your props on this drop keep it up dawg
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:53 PM. |