3style
 

yo, i got time to spit, some quick shit,
crowds'll gather quick,like an army of ants,swarming a picknic,
it's a freestyle, i need to think fast,
like fat people.......realising,they need slim fast,
its not rocket science, its just common sense,
like, a bunch of jibberish, doesn't make sense,
im spitin lyrics,like im spitin spit,
a lyrical lyricist,whos as sick as sick,
n yes psycotic's,psychotic, im fed up of gettin asked,
this profession profectionist,raps up this rap,

plz tell me wat i need to improve on cuz im new 2 dis

damn this is actually pretty good but work on ure vocab just a lil bit good flow and structre nice metas yo PM me and ill get u a spot in the crew im buldin with effect

cheers x-cell, any1 else got any opinions.

......... i must admit dis is a good first piece (<--lol hope i spelled dat write)

its not rocket science, its just common sense,
like, a bunch of jibberish, doesn't make sense,


dere shudnt relli b repititon coz it can get borin.........slight error....


n yes psycotic's,psychotic, im fed up of gettin asked,
this profession profectionist,raps up this rap,

dis bit shud relli ryme............but is a gud bit to end wid


das bout it relli,,,,,, keep elevatin , u doin gud

ok thanks, :thumbup: