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Indescribable Feeling
Indescribable Feeling 11:07 P.M. My friends tell me how I feel, but only what I say is reliable.. But this feeling I’ve never held, It’s just too indescribable.. I try and try my best to get over her, but never succeed.. The feel of her presence I need, she’s the air that I breathe.. Without her in my life, I’d might as well die of suffocation… To hold her tight, and never let go, had to become a temptation.. When by her side, I seem to get endless feelings of butterflies.. I lover her sexy voice, I love her sexy smile, I love her sexy eyes… There’s nothing about her, that I can never keep my mind off of.. So perfect, that she’s an angel that came from the heaven up above… After feeling the indescribable, I realized that it has a name… But I must not say, because even she would tell me that its insane.. For of those that has felt this feeling, then tell me what it is? Because, without her in my life, I just can’t seem to just live.. 2.12.05 -Christopher S. Dabatos |
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thats pretty good a lil short and soem lines had bad syllable count tho, not bad im feeling it nice imagery, great how you worded everything, not bad work here. always writing about ya gurl is good i like the part about butterflies that was ILL ass shit...nice vocabulary but just work on ya syllable count it will get ya flow better...peace
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thanx yo.. uppin for more feed..thanx yo.. uppin for more feed..
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Word, pretty suprised this hasnt gotten any feed back..
This was a nice peice.. i really liked it alot... your lines were good not to long nor to short... You had lots of emotions , and lots of feeling in your drop.. You had nice wordplay, good use of vocab, overall it was a good drop, i was really feeling it , alittle short though, but nice keep it up Dab.. |
hahaha...thanx yo.. really appreciate the feed man...
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Nice piece i liked it good vocab rhymes were tight flow was almost perfect...structre was good too...nice imagery u had in this piece...good wordplay...
best line---"When by her side, I seem to get endless feelings of butterflies.. I lover her sexy voice, I love her sexy smile, I love her sexy eyes" 8.5/10 please RTF in my open mic link in my sig |
hehehehe, are you talking bout Jackie in this??? She's a fine lady too ;) But now, this was good, this piece was short, but it was good short, I didnt feel the need for it to be longer, it was well written, even if i'm not into love verses, good imagery, and nice vocab, good stuff, 8/10
return the favor... Links in the sig |
lol nah man.. i ain't.. its actually another girl.. we're over hahhaa.. but yo thanx man.. wait?? is this flow? or who? /lol
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It's headgames bro wtf??? you know me... L.R.I that old school ish ;)
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hahaha oh yeah.. ofcourse.. lol
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