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Grow up
These visions, occur from corners skewered in prevailing dark.
That was a quick key cos i was bored.Old memorys evade the back of my brain, and head straight for the heart. Its a part; of me, i see in reams, when i leave reality and slip into dreams. It seems, i'm being haunted by demons of the past, my innocence be redeemed. The schem is'nt pleasant, but i cant go back farther then i already have. From one week ago, to days in high school, fighting back tears cos i failed in math. Parents parental skills were trash, they hated on me, but wanted me to do well. Nights of beatings, flash, to days wound up in hospital, them urging me to get well. But it was them, they made me strong, in exchange for severe physical abuse. Father hated thugs, but in fact he was involved in the petty crimes and drug use. Snorting lines, dissolving his time, quality time was shattered and his life? Divided. Glints in his eye, brung forth the shadows on my childhood, and nightmares reminded. For that was my growing up, sand of time swallows up my past. Darkness has been and gone, so the good times are here to last. |
nice shit it dosent really sound like a rap but a poem this was really good nice vocab nice multies structre need a lil work but every thing else was good 7/10
please return the favor in one of my open mics in my sig |
Thanks, i'll look @ yours later on.
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Upping for some more feed.
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Upping for some more feedback.
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Where's the link?
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huh? what do you mean link?
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dope drop....good vocab...nice peice of writing...
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You need to drop a link to a open mic you left feedback on Or this will be closed
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Upping for some more feedback, don't sleep.
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pretty nice fam, like X cell said looked lilke a poem more then a rap but still never the less A pretty tight piece of work. nice wordplay to the whole verse n a nice flow to it as well
8/10 |
the lines were a bit streched which fucked the flow up. the stucutre wasnt to bad it was ight. the imagery was decent the vocab well there wasnt much. but this was a decent OM. 1
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yes....not a rap, but more poetry-ish, but still, it was good, you got a nice hold on vocab, but you dont over-do it either, you use it effectively and really brings out great imagery and emotion, and thats what you want.....yeah, lines were a little long, but thats because you're probly accustomed to writing in non-rap form......still a good piece, and ya seem like a talented writer.........and you should come to the establishment, not TC, hahaha, word, keep up man
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