~POETRY&RAP~
 

I was born with dis-beliefs,
pigs in uniform runing tha street's
descoverd i had an incredible technique,
when i die with every breath thats released
youll see my goals have been reached,.........
but as i stair into tha barrel of a gun,
to put my mind at ease
ive got a passion for rap
my past was crap
but i was patient
followed a path an
learned ta rhyme in past time,
so who's tha masterminde behind it
i created a fuckin devil an now you despize it
soon you'll see what i mean
theres my dick you can ride it
shit things use to be pieceful
tha bitch brought out in in you was useful
im just bein truthful..............thought yould amount ta somthin
all you've gots nothin
??????CB83HOLLA

yo u gettin better and better man,get at me on msn,ill help you out with a couple of things,...


I was born with dis-beliefs,
pigs in uniform runing tha street's
descoverd i had an incredible technique,
when i die with every breath thats released
youll see my goals have been reached,.........

these lines were cool,but then your lines started to be too short be lines,put CAPITALS everytime you start a new line so it could be more fun to read,

i liked this drop....some real shit in it....good lines coudl of made them a bit longer though..opverall its a good read..
hit the link in my sig

UPPIN 4 more feed ............thank s levean some ill be sure ta do tha same
.......................CB83

This was different ..
It was okay,...not good but okay...
You can elevate on your structure,
make your lines longer and center it ..
You had nice feeling , and good emotion
Just put alittle more effort , and you'll be good
overall this was an okay piece... keep it up 6/10

PS: i needa link to a OM' you have left feed back on