Holla at me
 

i kidnapped that child damnit i want ransom/and if the handsom/rewards more, i want that too/i had to/do what i did to get my pockets fat/if that mean two to yo ribs then i do that/you knew that/i'm coming raw should've prepare the grill/and if you say that you saw/prepare to die by steal/right i will/kill me a nigga he try to block my cloute/and if he comin my way his brain gone switch route/oh it's gone slip out the side of his head/out the whole i put in when i fired the lead/i got him to beg/got him screamin for mercy/got him hopin that i dont put holes in his jersey/holdin a hersey/and as i take a bite/he might be livin for today but he dien tonight/i frien the mic/if you next you'll get burnt/you ain't know i was the best you just learnt/

ain't the best freestyle but it'le work. scream at me

your flow got better by the end of the rhyme, but without trying to sound too critical isn't the whole gangster violence thing a little played out already? it was cool nonetheless

anotha one that doesnt undastand tha concept of flowin...mane when you text a freestyle you gotta look back at it...spit it to ya self...does it flow? is it fluent throughout? where do i need ta improve?...till ya ask ya self those questions you jus got a paragraph of rhymes...1