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-   -   Reverse Racism...feedback please (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=185364)

Politi-Kill 04-08-05 04:56 AM

Reverse Racism...feedback please
 
i'm black so dont get heated over this...this is jsut a verse i wrote in 20mins max about the doulbe standerds in this country and how we want racism to stop with out takin blame for whats our fault...thats bout as well as i can explain it so just read it for yourself and tell me what you think

------------------------------------------------------------
Even though they say we emancipated, we still hated
By Skinheads and Nazis who don't wanna see us make it
Don't take it the wrong way - i aint complainin
I 'm just aiming to stop it from remainin
the same and not lettin Malcolm X die in vein
Its insane how brothers be blaimin slavery
on why they cant get a job, you think that maybe
Its has somethin to do with that criminal record
Or that that 6 month stay at a drug rehab ward?
We acting like the pain that the white man inflicted...
On our ansister's is the reason your crack addicted
or getting evicted. I'm tellin you, nah I've predicted
Its the way we bein depicted by the rappers nowadays
in their music and the movies that givin us a bad name
If we change that...stereotypes will start goin down hill
I aint sayin forget ya roots but you dont need to kill
Four police officers to prove your real, it makes me ill
to think our peoples bein rep'd by Kobe and Murder Ink
Where on the brink of self-destruction its such an
double standed, like with O.J and Johnny Cochran
We know he done it and what was said? nothin complete silance
Then the cops that beat King get off and there's violance and riots
Yea it aint all good in the hood but we should look at ourselves
Killin our own people just so more copies of our record sells
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you some how got offended by that then leave feedback tellin me...if u liked it leave feedback sayin that....this is just my believes so take it how u wanna...

LEAVE FEED BACK PLEASE

PEACE

(drop a link and i will return the favour)

¤ÐÅž¤ 04-08-05 05:04 AM

this was kool man, i was feeling ya topic...some lines need a bit more
added to them and maybe ya piece could be a bit longer...but i thought it was koo how ya reflected back on actual events n didnt just talk out ya ass....
i think you'll definately be a decent topical head in the near future if you keep dropping like this......there is room for improvement ...ya rhyme scheme could be
more complex n not so irratic.......but it was a good drop...props

Politi-Kill 04-08-05 05:11 AM

thanks fo that,,,KEEP THE FEEDBACK COMIN

heres my link to feedback i forgot to put in:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2073834

Critic 04-08-05 07:28 AM

You dirty Racist !!!!

Just playing man, this verse was deep man was feeling it all the way
flowed alright pretty decent vocab but still room for improvment..

We can't keep blaming the past for our misfortune.

Keep writing man and stay up.

1~

Politi-Kill 04-08-05 07:41 AM

yea exactly...

thanks for the feedback

keep it coming ya'll

Politi-Kill 04-08-05 08:59 PM

Upiin for feedback...


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