|
~Fate Under the Constellation~
Night after night I search each window pane from my bedroom The moon is the main attraction, the scattered stars, my best view I’m never looking for answers, just exploring the upper, outer field I can feel my soul just kneel to what life has stored and will reveal In a dream I can see myself looking classy, leaning on a balcony The same stars shining through the gem on my neck, no agony Just relaxing against my body as the air became wind for an instant Then I opened my eyes once to see the vision’s more than distant I separated the prophecy apart from any reading, truth is abliged Even when it’s full, the crescent of the moon always lean in my eyes -Lady Fiya April 9th |
Enjoyed reading this, bit short though so are you thinking of expanding it? Because the concept is real good in my opinion, would make a beautiful piece if you expanded it I think. But it's already nice in fact, found a good balance in your vocab between complex and basic. The imagery was strongest aspect of it together with the emotion because you managed to make those two as one actually. I like how you worded everything, you have a nice and interesting writing style. Made me think about some stuff here and there.
DQ |
yeah i did it short on purpose *heea hee lol*... i am gonna expand it actually, i was gonna do it twice as long with more detail in between.. but yeah thanx for the feed ma...
1 |
nice drop, imagery was good and vocab usage was nice......keep doing it
|
keep em comin'
sweft |
i liked this, im sure a lot of peeps can relate
keep it up |
pure dopeness ma. this was a dynamite drop. get at ya chi-town fam! :thumbup:
|
yeah i liked it! n i liked the length, it kinda keeps u wonderin, dont havta be longer to be better! :)
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:30 PM. |