.
first drop on rv
.
The time has come where I become no longer one
My tears are the oceans; my pain is the sun
It was dim at first, but now the heat intensifies
and my anger is a fireball that ejects into your eyes
from my sky--and for too long I've hidden misery
I've shined in silence and remained a burning mystery
The day is here when my agony becomes history
and my pain is nothing but a small star in the abyss of me
EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN....explosion in the clouds
Everything concealed in my internal atmosphere is finally let out
There's an eclipse in my life, where the sun has blacked out
and in this new blackness, I wander about
Now I'm free to explore my new obscurity
The shadows of my life keep secret my felicity
In my mew, all alone, my anger is no more
for pain, which was my sun, has exploded and is no more

....the day of perpetual darkness....
.........is my new beginning..............
.
.
uppin for feedback(this is poetry)
.

Originally Posted by ~Genius~ hehe dope shit fam, you got published a few times I hear, I did to, we should poetry battle one day, but ya, this woulda been dope with some better vocab, structure was tight though, and I liked the concept, flow was coo, it was a good drop here, 8/10 Return the favor, hit up Distorted World in my sig, it's a poem I keyed up... word

Originally Posted by C.A.L.I ok this was good description could be better i feel you lacked there but you had good vocab and a pretty nice visual which made it good for real the emotion was decent also i liked how you didnt get to deep but werent simple with it either pretty strong drop here nice work