untitled...but unrivaled...jus writing
 

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=184349
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=185362




A week ago I was weak and cold, bleak and bold steamin'
Scoldin' my own demons..schemin' to go rogue, screamin'
Holy fuck! it's me in this hole reachin'..I wasn't discrete when
The road branched like trees, then I pleaded "Yo, I'm a heathen"
Jehovah supercedin' stupid reasons..I believe in
Eye-for-neck so I expect my life to wreck..and each win
Over plight a speck on the grand scale..I'm shook like hand-bell
And the vibration I'm makin' shakes hell..breakin' the damned, well
I'm out rememberin' how I used ta cud do shit, losin' to fools
Now I'm not adjusted to improve shit, I'm proven to lose
Quick composure like sculpture during quakes..tip the scales
I quit the Celtic-like position..green-hue cuz if this entails
People who are see-through, I can't keep cool..dispositions
Get intrinsic, forensic studies find me bloody..expeditions
Left to sit in excrement..kindred-types get dingy-like, kitchens
I ain't been deemed ugly except by a few..like it was written
In the scriptures I'm God's image..made to live life ascended
I know I'm the Moses of prose..supposed to part red seas
Abandoned and bred by thieves...wonderin' who lead me
No one...I'm no one.



uh

what is that key'd or what.. nice drop.. 7/10..
check out Perpetual Darkness... and drop a comment..
late
Sweft

i was feeling the first 5 bars, come off real well
the clsing seemed to fade out, i didnt quite get the overall message
i did up until the word kitchen...dunno what ta say q....
.
i was really feelin half ya verse......RTF...
(wish you didnt leave feed on that lame key i did..lol)
oh well thanx anyhow bro

appreciate all feed



eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer up

^^^i felt pretty much the same way, but i liked more than half of it.....lol.

strong piece though q.......nice drop. i was feelin' it (pretty much most of the time). you used some nice vocab throughout, good job. i was feelin' the multies too. :thumbup: your flow was on point.......and your structure was straight. your message was somewhat blurred.....but deep pieces usually do get misconstrued easily, so dont worry about it. its personal.......and thats all that matters. once again.........good work mayne. oner...


s.v.

by the way.......was this keyed.......or pre-written??? just curious.


s.v.

^^^^I jus typed it...then went back and made changes


dats how it came about


1

hmmm, not as good as some of your other pieces, I usually enjoy your drops, your structure was good and flow was good as usual... great actually ;) lol, your vocab was ok, imagery was off for me cuz I didnt understand the concept completely, but it was well written though, i'd have to give a 7/10 only for this one, rtf links in the sig, hit up "Sole Survivor"

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer up