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I Wish
I wish you would understand when your around I’m suffocating. I wish you would think it must hurt seriously it does hurt waiting. Like love you put the fun in being together and the sad in apart. You constantly put the hope in tomorrow and the joy in the heart. My love for you is like a journey starting at forever and ending at never. Meeting you was the greatest, but now it is not getting any better. The caring things I always say seem to be only getting in your way. I still can’t get you, with the songs; seem to be failing even when I pray. You were expecting what to get while I was just expecting what to give. Me and you, you and I is my dream, and my one and only wish. |
ok i hate simple rhyme schemes when the poem could be so much deeper this is a topic thats been done a billion times to make it stand out you gotta bring dope visuals which i feel you failed to do what you say you say you have no undertone to this piece and that kills it.vocab is good but not used right it fails at times here not trash but needs massive work try to draw pictures our play on emotions take more time to be more descriptive in your imagery and it will build a stronger drop leave feed on other pieces
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uppin dayum. I'll RTF.
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damn fam this is deep. but cali is a goo dpoet so I feel his poem isnt out of hate...
there could be alot more effective if you worded your shit slightly diffrent. Nice repping TC poetry fam. oh yeh,please get rid of that baby bash sig.lol but i still really liked this. |
I ain't got one good sig so I guess you'll have to deal with him. lol. get me a sig.
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aww this was dope! I liked this! Even if everyone does a topic like this dont mean it's not good at all!
I really liked this.. It should if been a little longer. You were expecting what to get while I was just expecting what to give. Me and you, you and I is my dream, and my one and only wish. ^^^ I liked how you ended this.. Well read my drop.. "WHAT! This is why im in TC" Yes it is long but been gettin alot of good feedback! Sweft |
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Id rather use no sig than that sig... :thumbup: |
winky. Fine be a bitch about it.
Just playing. |
This was aiight. kinda elementary but nice. it was cute. wish u coulda put more emotion into it but it was enjoyable. i can relate on a small level.
retrun the favor on one of my pieces in my sig please.... thsnk you |
uppin this shit. I'll RTF.
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