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Breaking Point
Breaking Point Fluid the colour of volcanicity, boils,courses through the survival system Chemicals are excreted, they diffuse across barriers and affect my cerebrum Surrounding environment becomes an acute canvas, sound amplifies as I listen Colours become vivid and vibrant like the sun, to the point where I almost feel them Electricity floods my synapses like a raging tsunami, never ending, pure brutality Muscles overloaded and bombarded with instruction, thrown into violent spasm The drum of the soul bangs irratically on its chamber and waves pulse with abnormality Skin edges close to fatality, as thoughts seem endless, and feeling decends into a cavern A storm of emotion is conjured as response is pondered, lightning strikes Newtons third law manifests itself as a reaction to a force is apparent and defiant My symbol of religion embeds itself in my chest as choose fight over flight Everything expands as I ascend to a higher level, a higher conscious, a giant Bones become solid and clenched, fall to either side, anticipating eruption Consecutive onslaughts of abuse persist, it is impossible to resist action My conscious is clouded in a fog of confusion and is rendered inable to function Raw primal, survival instinct is pushed into gear and agression is driven into exaction The plato had been reached, and once dispatched there is no rematch Between rational thought and irrational will, its a unstoppable climax with no hesitation No procastonation, No debating or waiting for a conversation of options Destruction is the only force adopted, because as nature dictates and darwin states The fittest survive, alive to reside on this dimension, to pass the essence of his loins And those very theorisms are seen, evidenced once ive been pushed to breaking point |
omg this is dope sun good visual vocab is dope as fuck flows smoothly topic is kept and made so much more this is real good sun topic couldve been better is the only thing i can really say leave feed on one of my pieces
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bump..................
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not too bad.. pretty good imagery. But there was a couple of grammar mistakes which kinda ruined the flow of this peice, also it seemed like you were trying a little bit too hard to use bigger words which lead to malopropisms. Other than that she was pretty good.
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thanks 4 the feed...as 4 the big words, i never and try and use big words..its jus what comes 2 mind...ill RTF soon :thumbup:
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1 last bump...........
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i thought this was wonderful. your imagery was nice. i liked how u used metas to paint very vivd pictures. your use of vocabulary was amazing. very extensive which i liked. to anyone who's not big on vocab they would have gotten lost but i thought it added a nice element to this piece.
please leave feed on my pieces. links are located bottom right corner of my sig |
had to check out my competition for the league ... finally found someone with some skill here .. should be a good battle between us .. nice poem ..
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Dope shit man, It was nice, you have one of the better vocabulary's on thes sit, I really enjoyed this, it was dope read, wasnt the best ever, but it was good, I like how everything was on point, structure, flow, it was nice, rtf on Distorted World
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word will do...n me n you neva had our battle
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