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Reminiscing (a lil sumthin)
this was a verse i did for a topical battle on anutha site......just lookin for some feed......
Rain falling, I’m sitting here recalling, a life so appalling Cellphone ringing, leaves me wondering if deaths finally calling Sun shining, still I don’t feel like smiling, remember that time You reminded me I was worthless, nothing, it was October ‘99 That day it was cloudy, I pulled up in my ride, quite contented Checked my hair, looking good, always said I was well-presented Thought you meant it, walked up to the door, there’s no key needed Find my fam on the floor, pleading for help but you still proceeded Couldn’t figure out what was going on, my husband and my brother I shouted stop, you said WHAT i’ve already killed your mother Your eyes were raging, nowhere to go the street became my protection With no affection, in every homeless person I saw my reflection Now I’m reminiscing, I have no good memories to recollect Everything wrecked, for you I could never have any respect Surprised I’ve stayed alive a month more, but now I’m finished And with this knife, I ensure my life’s bout to be diminished |
any feed lol???
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Meh...it was ok...Nothing special...ok topic, but a little played...But you did a really good job expressing your thoughts and getting your point across, which I must give you props for...Overall, probably a 7.3-7.6/10...1
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^^^^oooooookkkkkkkkkkk not played newayz as alwayz mizz fyre a good piece not one of your best ones but it was str8 vocab good flow was good everything was good i like readin your stuff cus unlike sum ppl on dis site you actually got talent we should hook up wit a collab 8.5/10
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^^^lol thanx........yeh holla at me wit a topic...........
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i liked it .. the opener was a little eh but it was a nice piece over all you did a good job conveying the emotion ... but yea it wasnt ur best piece .. but i still liked it . just because it had a good feeling/vibe to it... i liked the imagery
7.5/10 |
This was a pretty decent peice... i liked it
not your best work that ive seen ...but it was good Strcture was good, you had lots of feeling , and emotions... You had nice imagery... Nice topic... overall it was a cool peice.. thought you could have put alittle more feeling into it... alittle short for me but it was decent...keep it up DONT FORGET TO DROP A LINK! |
So U live up to yo name I see....This was Str8 Fyre an I loved tha structure
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