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-   -   Forgotten cycle (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186277)

Its a me.. Mario 04-15-05 10:33 AM

Forgotten cycle
 
A forgotten cycle


I’ve found the place of forgotten memories
Piled over a deathly land of loneliness
Hidden by the tears collecting and covering
Over the horizon

Random, dissembled parts of memories litter the land
As I attempt to assemble my own from tossed and trashed
Memories that were later replaced by better ones
Having none of my own, I struggle to share the stories

Told by the assortments of airplanes and teddy bears
Covered by the dirt of loneliness, yet still holding on to
The emotion, like the love notes of childhood sweethearts
Carefully folded and fondled with until better ones come to pass

Filling my hands with the memories I wish to use as my own
I sculpt a life of lessons, lined with pain and suffering
Stringing together stories willing share with anyone passing by
But soon the dust kicked from the dirt of loneliness cover my stories
Left in the piles of forgotten memories as I search for better ones
Forgetting the forgotten memories

Calm 04-15-05 12:48 PM

Nice.... i'm loving the metaphores. kinda like how your piecing together what u wanted your childhood to be like from highlights of other's memories. i get a sense of despair and sadness. not sure if that is what u were trying to convey. but thats what i felt from your choice of words.... like u have selective memory u forget your bad ones in hopes of finding better ones to fill the empty void of your past...

return the favor and peep the peice in my sig please, thank you

Its a me.. Mario 04-16-05 12:20 PM

gyea uppin for new feedback much appriciated feedback from you... and yeah ill hit your piece up shortly

Lyrical Prodigy 04-16-05 12:23 PM

i liked this. it wuz different from most poetry i read but daz a good thing. i liked the flow and emotion commin from it. keep doin wut u doin n check my pieces out n lemme kno wut u think

A


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