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-   -   See u smile (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186367)

.:F.ate:. 04-15-05 11:26 PM

See u smile
 
*talkin*

*aiyo dis ya boy.....u know how i'm always beefin wit niggaz so i thought i'd lay a verse just 2 show ya'll my humanity..dis is for my girl n i wrote it off dat lloyd banks track called "be tha reason u smile"...anyway jus feel dis shit*


maybe i'm just hella bent cuz in my mind girl you heaven sent
i cant confide or hide the fact i'm feelin your every element
baby girl you're so intelligent your inner beauty's evident
it makes me look past all your faults your past is irrelavent
i'm just amazed by the components of your complexity
i'm lost without you i cant live without you next to me
your tantalizin from ya thighs and to wut's in between 'em
i'm mezmorized if it's a better couple i aint seen 'em
dont wanna be 'em shawdy me and you could settle down
girl i'll do wuteva wheneva just to see you smile

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*thought ya'll was gettin a whole song huh? 10 bars oughtta hold you off mayne u cant get shit for free no more....everything 10 bars or less xcept collabs.....i'm sellin rhymes like crack now but uhh....Yasmin dis 1's for u..........holla*

.:F.ate:. 04-15-05 11:28 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=184721

B. Magik 04-16-05 12:12 AM

Lol at the 10 line limit...nice idea...But for reel, good shit bruh...I bet she'd smile if she heard/saw it...Definetly somethin different from you, but you are very talented, so you had no trouble...Cool drop fam...1

.:F.ate:. 04-16-05 10:36 AM

^^ no doubt thanks 4 tha feed fam cuz i dont get alot of it.....uppin

keiandra 04-16-05 05:48 PM

i thought it wuz hella nice fa real....stay up

.:F.ate:. 04-17-05 12:31 PM

uppin.............

.Fatal. 04-17-05 12:40 PM

damn fam ya shyt tight ma dude, iwas really feelin it flowed real nice 8/10

Kawn Flixx 04-17-05 02:59 PM

Hm.. this was pretty good , alittle short for me..
but it was cool... you had lots of feeling , nice emotions..
Good imagery... your wordplay was there...could have been alittle better..
vocab was good... structure was alittle shaky.. overall it was a nice drop..
pretty nice topic, i felt you could have worked alittle more on feeling , and emotion
maybe if you made it alittle longer it would have cought the readers attention alittle more ...maybe made the topic stand out more , but overall nice drop..keep it up

B. Magik 04-17-05 03:28 PM

Uppin this shit for my boy...

Da Future 04-17-05 04:24 PM

I Think It Was Mad Tight...

Sweft 04-17-05 07:03 PM

maybe i'm just hella bent cuz in my mind girl you heaven sent
i cant confide or hide the fact i'm feelin your every element

NICE opener! This was a good drop, keep em comin'. Yo, check out some of my shit. this one is kinda long but worth the read! i give this a 8/10..

http://community.RAPVERSE.COM/showthread.php?p=2092510

Sweft

.:F.ate:. 04-20-05 10:01 PM

uppin dis 1.............


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