Afriad of the Rain?
 

Afraid of the Rain?

"Hey man, why you watching the skies plain?
W-Why you got that silly umbrella dream?
It really is only a light drizzle. I mean…
Wait! Why are you afraid of the rain?"

Out lasting umbrella league, skip games of drizzled passion
Like dodging pellets of acidic rain in a matrix formed fashion
An agitated breed stormed castles with body armed fabric
Like being fasten to fire bricks as that mad hatters attacks wicks
Simple simpleton shooing the once beautiful dawn away
Like sorry radiance but this land doesn't have time for you today
Am I suppose to gaze with amazed eyes lost in confusion
Until the fusion of man is lost when each rib becomes loosened
Deal with pain and the formulated functions will then turn
Even babies will learn or at least develop calices to protect against burns
Look every tugboat has its day then will sink and wilt for ages
As people skim your life's story skipping the whole 200 pages (I'm finished mom!)
It's the year of the coward born by goliath's union fist apocalypse
Of course the toppled wit like my natural disaster soul is topping it
But please fill me in why you'd melt like the wicked witch stepped in the rain
Oh! I see you don’t want to deal with any of God's pain (so, cry me a damned river)

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2088410

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186434

Thanx man. Upp.

Come on people. Say something!

Sup led still dropping dopeness, it's funny how this is one of the best
topical verse's I have read this year, But some how nobody has droped
any feedback..

Any way the only thing that was a bit off in this verse was the
structure but that's not really important.

Great flow with nice inners it really gave the flow an extra kick
when used. Vocab on point, with some dope emotion..

This is how to write a topical,.. Stay up man

1~

word word word...short but powerful....great concept idea, loving it....touched on it nicely, vocab made it really interesting to read, like, i was pretty much hooked on it.....but i dont think i would have liked it longer, because you got the message across perfectly....obviously because you know what you are doing......anywho, great piece

Am I suppose to gaze with amazed eyes lost in confusion
Until the fusion of man is lost when each rib becomes loosened
Deal with pain and the formulated functions will then turn
Even babies will learn or at least develop calices to protect against burns
Look every tugboat has its day then will sink and wilt for ages
As people skim your life's story skipping the whole 200 pages
But please fill me in why you'd melt like the wicked witch stepped in the rain
Oh! I see you don’t want to deal with any of God's pain

^ loving those lines......word, keep dropping more....and i will leave feed...haha, pc

sick drop man ya flow was on point, so was ya mettas n everything else. It was deep man, i was feeling it mainly because of the way it flowed. I liked the poetic side to it as well, decent drop. rtf on ma om

my favourite line:
Am I suppose to gaze with amazed eyes lost in confusion
Until the fusion of man is lost when each rib becomes loosened^^nice

Oh shit! This was hott. Have you ever like read anyone's elses work and like, "*ugh* why couldn't I think of that?"
Well, I just did! (LoL) keep this shit up fam.. I give this a 8.9/10!
Keep writing!
Sweft

Thank you people, really appreciate this.

daaaaaaamn, Led you spit fire here man, shit came together, vocab was good, not great, or amazing, but the way it was written was straight ill, the way it was done, shit you said and way you did it was fucking awesome, made it perfectly, maybe 2 lines I didnt like the rhyme scheme, but overall, hot shit man, 9/10... almost woulda gave a 10/10 yo return feed on Distorted World. And we should battle some time, poetry battle, shit would be illlllllllllll