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ELEMENTALITY vs HELLFIRE
Check In By WENSDAY Or Topic Wont Be Given Poems Due By FRIDAY NITE 12 PM EASTERN TIME. Edit You Link With At Least 2 Other Poetry Battles In The League You Voted On Voting Ends At 12 Eastern TimeON WENSDAY NITE NEXT WEEK.no Line Length And Dont Write A Topical. This Is A Poetry League I Will Dq You If You Write A Fucking Topical I Hate That Shit Its Not Poetry!!Gotta Actually Win Good Luck To BotH
TOPIC-COLD SUN |
checkin in haha im in two pimp ish im a poetic fiend...goood luck to the kat on the other side of this
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ey mate. keep yea luck, you'll need it.
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my bad i typed it wrong i meant to say i dont need luck...ya got me *looks stupid for a second and then acts like nothin happened*
ONE VOTE DEDUCTED FROM HELLFIRE DO NOT FREEPOST |
how about 20-30 lines what ya think
2 VOTES DUDUCTED FROM HELLFIRE STOP FREEPOSTING IM HIM TO ASK HIM THAT |
As I walk through the forest I see him peering over my shoulder I know that if I turn around I will be petrified with one glance So I don’t, instead, I pretend like he's not there.... But hes consistent He wants me to let my guard down so he can claim me: Another dead Years without looking upward even once into the orange giant's baneful eyes Because I know that if I gaze at him crookedly he will kill me surely For he massacres thousands a day, in every conceivable matter He doesn't really care who I am, what my name is, or where I'm from All he cares about is ravaging humanity off systematically As I look around at all the magnificent beauty of this natural phenomena, I reach an epiphany. One that hits you swiftly in the most impetuous of ways I then stop abruptly, and I see his shadow directly under me, this time he talks He tries convincing me that he isn't just the monstrosity I’ve come to conceive He says hes a giver of life to all, and a caretaker of the earth as well This may be true. But you're missing one piece... Sure you flourish life all over the globe, keep things warm, and you even give us everlasting energy You are the provider of life, true. But before life has its chance to live you take it away not making you a giver of life.... but an Indian giver. |
Cold Sun
Cold Sun Icy inferno where frost bites the burn
icy inferno where lost fights to learn i watched the sun get a full eclipse i temped the 101 celcius fall to six photosynthesis stoped cuz the sun was cold meta morphasis stoped cuz the son was bold hell froze over with a snow balls chance devil blaze over with a skate halls dance the shadow has encompased the world in death the meadow has decomposed the last self health men learned to see in a shaded wit men learned to be in a saded width i couldnt find the heat of passion i couldnt find the leak of staminon where the sun was cold we couldnt see to this where the son was bold we couldnt see weakness the cold sun where heaven stands still as hell has one the cold sun where heaven hands kill to that last one the sons arms couldnt pull it back to the sky with ones harms distalent null back to die before the nova where live rebirths the phoenix before the lava where allive births the crusifix cold fire how do you burn the hottest cold fire how do you burn the brightest when coldness hits the sun blue fire engulfs all to one when coldness hits the sun blue fire infernos all to none cold shadow of the sun we never knew cold shadow of the sun we never grew cold sun where gods lay and lives of candles flicker cold sun where minds lay blow my candles wicker best as i could do in a few minutes |
OK ELEMENATAL GOOD DROP HERE VOCAB AND IMAGERY WISE BUT EMOTION WAS MISSING LIKE CRAZY AND YOUR DISCRIPTIVE CREATIVITY IS WEAK MAKING FOR A BLAND POEM IT WAS BORING AND SEEMED AS IF IT WAS JUST A STORY POETRY IS TO BE SO MUCH MORE EMOTION AND METAPHORES THROWN INTO POWERFULL DROPS THIS FAILED TO GAIN MY ATTENTION AT ALL IT WAS AS I SAID BASICALLY VERY WEAK IN A EMOTION ASPECT AND WASNT GIVING ME A VIVID ENOUGH PICTURE WHILE HELLFIRE YOU HAD GOOD EMOTION AND GOOD IMAGERY HERE MAKING FOR QUITE A DECENT POEM THAT BROUGHT THE READER IN.THE METAS HELPED YOU ALONG SUCH AS devil blaze over with a skate halls dance
WHICH WAS GOOD AS WELL AS MANY OTHER LINES SO TO ME HELLFIRE WON WITH BETTER EMOTION AND VISUAL ASPECTS. VOTE-HELLFIRE |
So i take it hes not getting Dqed for dropping his shit 15 mins late
he spoke to me on aim bout a extention i gave him one since hes in two battles for the league this week one vote deducted for freepost |
get him dq'd then.....he dq'd me from VE because i posted 1 minute late
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No shit man wtf
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^ 2 votes deducted i gave him a extenstion he had two poems to do stop crying you freepost again and your dqed
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Man, C.A.L.I that makes the polls -1 to -2...
Elementality came way harder in this...Hells Fires verse wasn't to great...just a bunch of nursery rhyme bullshit...He had like a week to write that? Why the fuck he need an extension...C.A.L.I your just helping out Hells Fire because he isn't a newb...It doesn't say anywhere in the thread that he had an extenstion...He should be DQ'd for dropping late...if not...I'm voting for Elementality because his poem whored Hells Fires...You know it too...:) Vote: Elementality /Should be an auto DQ Win.. |
^no and dont freepost again or ill ban you as well ho on all your alaises hellfire had a much better drop my exlanation is above and he had 2 battles this week in the league to do as well..............................
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element-your imagery was solid, but i wasnt feeling the way you protrayed this topic, it couldve been more indepth on a few key elements,example your descriptive-ness was on the weaker side, although this was an issue with your drop i still enjoyed the read.props, good job.
hells-i saw where you were going with this verse, to tell you the truth i wasnt feeling the simplicity of it, its just my opinion but it seemed very lil effort and thought went into this piece, i found you lacked in all catagories, sorry hells...try harder next tyme . also, the amount of bs n freeposts in this thread is rather discouraging, please if your in this league, read the rules and abide by them. . my final vote.element..... |
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