WHYTE AVE vs M.C IGGY
 

Check In By WENSDAY Or Topic Wont Be Given Poems Due By FRIDAY NITE 12 PM EASTERN TIME. Edit You Link With At Least 2 Other Poetry Battles In The League You Voted On Voting Ends At 12 Eastern TimeON WENSDAY NITE NEXT WEEK.no Line Length And Dont Write A Topical. This Is A Poetry League I Will Dq You If You Write A Fucking Topical I Hate That Shit Its Not Poetry!!Gotta Actually Win Good Luck To BotH
TOPIC=GODS PLAN

cheeck...../.....

checking in dis

It doesn't rhyme, but poetry doesn't have too...I went with a line scheme of Haiku's, but mixed it up a bit...5/7/5 then 5/5/7/7/5/5

God's Plan

His highness sent life to Earth for a serious reason
even though its mysterious, we have to wrok with what we are given
we are brought to life through an opening
as the parents watch on, anxiously hoping
that there offspring wont be stupid or a drug dealer
will receive an education instead of becoming a serial killer
Next stage is the teen life where everything is crazy
Its scary, how one day you want to be a good person, the next have a baby
You have no mental stability, literally, ur always confused
are your feelings real and are you getting abused
then it is time to mature and enter adult life
where there are no more bootycalls, you have to find a wife
Then when the time is right, it is our time to procreate
as in 9 months, our own child will determine its fate
And watch it grow, feel love for what we have created
That is the reason we are here, this is God's Plan.

Ok Basically Whyte Lead In All Catagorys Here He Had Better Emotion And Visual Here Gave A Much Better Picture In A Better Poetic Form As Well It Flowed Nicely Toghther Into Each Other Slowly Pulling The Reader Into Its Grasp All Along The Way While Mc Iggy Had Good Emotion And Visual Also But Didnt Really Draw Me In Basically He Was Outclassed By A Better Poet.
Vote
Whyte

Whyte Ave.: I love how you worked out the topic by first giving a global view of life in fact and then talking about your own life. Your choice of vocabulary was excellent because you kept it rather simple which made the message you brought more powerful and effective. The emotion was so pure, I really enjoyed reading this piece!

MC IgGY: you made me picture everything in my mind and the way you went with the topic is quite good. I just feel you could've used more ithe imagery, more emotion. Don't get me wrong: you had nice emotion but not always consistent. For instance, those last 2 lines were excellent: "And watch it grow, feel love for what we have created. That is the reason we are here, this is God's Plan." <----- if you had this sort of stuff all the way through, it would've been best without a doubt

But now my vote goes to Whyte Ave. for getting me more into the poem, no hate whatsoever!

DQ

Whyte ave - Good structure, pretty good emtotion, and metaphors }but it just seemed like it needed more... you only gave a dim look at the real picture> which is so much more. I think you coulda expanded and made this peice alot more epic.

Mc Iggy - Dag man, it was a prety good peice i'll agree....But I dont agree with you that that is God's plan what so ever... People today are just lazy, and seem to want to repeat history.....thats the athiest's plan more than God's plan > just do what everyone else has been doing for the past million years, and dont ask questions: Ignorance.

All in all i think that Whyte's was better even though it was really vague, and looked moreless the same as Iggy's but had more style to it.

V-Whyte

white-nice verse, i read it a couple times, i was deffinately feeling the personal approach you took with the topic at hand.as the others stated i felt you lead in all catagories.this seems like it was a unevenly matched battle.
.
iggy-you need to up your imagery n stick to the topic throughout your verse
it wasnt terrible but your approach on the topic didnt appeal to me at all...
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no hate....stay up both of you........vote-whyte ave

thx for all da feedback
i appreciate it

whyte ave wins by k.o