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Lost
Lost
As I walk through the barren land, which I once used to call my town You’ll never catch me smiling anymore, all you’ll see is a frown No hope, no point of life, it appears as if everything I once had is now lost Everything is now crisscrossed, and it’s all at my cost Looking at the establishment that I used to call my home But how can you feel the love when your standing all alone I sit down, and think, I’m constantly reminiscing of my past years And it appears instead of seeing cheers I’m shedding tears Scratch from start and it seems that’s the way things are going to remain So I go to sleep with a bible and pray to God for a change I’m on a never-ending search for the so-called bright side It’s impossible to obtain so my emotions continually subside Somebody please respond to my vivid cry for help and save me I’ve taken the poverty and the debris to a tolerable degree Close my eyes because it’s too painful a sight to view In the blink of an eye, it appears as if my whole life has gone askew Nothing left to live for, life full emptiness, pain, sorrow, and misery I’m living my life like it’s always a no luck guarantee Loss of all personal positions, but more than that I no longer have any pride Because my loneliness is a result of what happens when anger and drugs collide |
nice piece...when reading it, i was think wow these thoughts are scattered about and cood be organized better...tahn i read the end, and that made everything better for it showed the reasonging and thought behind the organization...liked this piece for i know people who are in the same situation, good, try to get more in detail though thats the only thing, but werd your definitly an up and coming poet on here
plaes leave feed on any of my poems (any that you see of mine, some are in sig some arent) thanx alot |
thanks for the feed.. uppin this for some more though!
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Good Drop Yo U Gettin Way Better Dog Kesse Helpin Good Overall No Faults On This Though Good Structure Flow Vocab Good Stuff Dogg
Return Tha Favour Links In Sig |
damn man..this is one of those poems where while reading u dont know whuts going on but at the at it hits u and with a good "strong" message...i liked it..keep em coming..
and can all of u please give me some feed back on my poem..DEEDS FOR THE DEVIL.... |
uppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Seems more of a topical than a poem but is a well done peice. You have really elevated man...keep it up..:thumbup:
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Hey man!
Dont overly post on your thread.. one.. you still need to drop a link.. Okay, this poem was a okay poem. Like, you need to work on your format/structure. Also you need to calm the hell down man.. (LoL) I know how it is to not get any feed on something you worked hard on. I get it all the time.. and when someone does post its nothing bad. Always positive like whoa! this had great this and that and this and that. Anyways nuff about that.. overall this was a good job. 6/10 Sweft |
this was a deep piece i was feeling your emotion in every line, ya flow was nice and i really liked how you stuck to the topic..
Close my eyes because it’s too painful a sight to view In the blink of an eye, it appears as if my whole life has gone askew Nothing left to live for, life full emptiness, pain, sorrow, and misery I’m living my life like it’s always a no luck guarantee Loss of all personal positions, but more than that I no longer have any pride Because my loneliness is a result of what happens when anger and drugs collide ^best part of it all... |
thanks for the feed
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uppin this for a little bit more feedback
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*Don't up your poems more then 3 times*....lmao, man i just erased 15 ups from you!!....ok, this poem was very good, your vocabulary and the whole topic was well portrayed and the imagery in your words was good as well, you told this concept well, and the flow of it was a joy to read, meaning, you didnt try too hard,as i often see people do,to put a bunch of meaningless words together to make it look more then it is...good drop
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yeoo... uppin tihs for 1 more feedback.. plzz post !
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