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-   -   battle (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187589)

technique 04-24-05 09:25 AM

battle
 
this effecx is fake your skill is going no where
when you entered this battle u forgot to be prepared
bitch i don't care what gay shit you have to say
your a gay i have u shittin inside im'a blow you away
you must think your good but your style is tragic
im have you dissapear in a flash like magic
your wack kid i'll pass u napkin to wipe dem tears
everyone always rips u you'll be in battles 4 years
so please clear nobody wants you around here
mutha fucker when ur on a mic you raim queer
my words give you fear ya chutching you nuts
stayin at home wid ya mum is dat only time u get fucked
you seem boring thats why my verse is ignoring
you are the king of wack wearing a fake bling
you can suck on my nuts i'll blast you wid gats
this dude will have brain damage after ur attacked wid bats
i'll sufficate u in a bag rob your every penny you got
being an emcee requires skill it's safe to say u have not
you get shot straight off the block don't act like tupac
cuz your to damn wack and you fail to even attract
this phony mc needs to come up wid better rhymes
better come up wid somet good ive never seen ur wack lines
but u cannot combat mine they'll make you go blind
think you can do better den me you can kiss the behind
I already killed your ass one my first fucking punchline
I bet your a fat little cunt whos always in the lunchlines
thats why i an't seen ur pic up on the damn mug shots
nobody wanna see an ugly migit who sucks cocks

technique 04-24-05 01:58 PM

drop feed back please

¤ÐÅž¤ 04-24-05 02:09 PM

your vocab is rather simplistic
line length is good, complexity you
need to work on quite a bit...i really wasnt feelin any of your
punches(they were non existent)..no hate...just given feed

Kawn Flixx 04-24-05 02:22 PM

This was an average drop..
I Felt you could have used better wordplay , and vocab ..
Structure was okay but try to match up your bars if possible,
Complexity was blah , cus most of the words you rhymed w/ are
pretty simple, Punchlines were blah, because really nothing was hitten hard
for you , overall keep it up , and elevate on punchlines , and complexity,

PS: Drop a link or this will be closed


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