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-   -   Gone (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187625)

riddlemethat 04-24-05 02:13 PM

Gone
 
I’ve been thinking of how the memory of you will live on…
So I thought it only right to put my thoughts down before they’re gone…
I know it’s going to be harder now that you’re gone but not forgotten…
For every second that I missed I replace with a lifetime of compassion…
Not too much into fashion, Tottenham Hotspur jersey worn loud and proud…
But now all I see is that big black dark cloud, forever embraced and by this feeling I am drowned…
You didn’t speak to astound, but I just wanted you to know, that we always enjoyed having you around…
Pick us up when we’re down, always had something to say, I still can’t believe you aren’t here with me today…
It’s been a long time coming and I just wish I could stand and say it to your face…
I’d give anything to see you again, just to be welcomed by your ever warm embrace…
Always going to remember the good times we had, because the bad were simply a small minority…
So I think its best that me, and the rest of us think about the way you lived in the majority…
I know that you were taken before your time, but buried with your ever loving mother…
And I hope you heard the great speech that was spoken from the heart of little your brother…
So many un-confessed feelings from people who knew but were never touched…
And in the hearts of men and women alike I just wanted to know that you were and forever will be loved…
In the end, I just hope you can look down on us all, sit back and smile, you know you’ll see us in a while….
Bless us with your love and be happy knowing that some day soon, we’ll all see you again and smile…

riddlemethat 09-27-05 04:44 PM

Uppin this piece people

DQ 10-08-05 08:49 AM

Structure kinda threw me off in the beginning because you poured so much into one line. Maybe divide it a bit better next time.

That however does not affect the content of the piece. It may not be traditional, vague poetry but it portrays a clear message. You used rather basic wordings but this expressed a pure yet direct message saying how much the person shall be missed and such. The emotion was present without a doubt, maybe there might have been a bit more images to go along with the emotion. You opened up about a tricky subject in fact but one to which many can relate of course.

Keep writing! :thumbup:

atti? 10-09-05 04:06 PM

Pm Me Two Links To Have This Re-Opend.


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