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Death=Life
Long nights await in my future
Yet there will be not many nights Ive faced the ultimate consequence ..............Sacrifice.................. Bloodshed is around the corner Yet small remains the amount of blood Ive faced the ultimate consequence ..............For love.................. Hate will grow much fiercely Yet the total will decrease Ive faced the ultimate consequence ..............For peace.............. Lives will be taken without thought Yet increasing is it's wealth Ive claimed the ultimate prize Life from the sacrifice of myself *a keystyle..yes i know the vocab aint great but i wuz just focused on the rhyme scheme and message* |
yes, i liked this piece, your right about the vocab,but that didnt matter much,considering the way you set this up and the words you did use were perfect to get that point across, great job..1
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ummm i'mma read it again. cuz i didnt really catch what u were getting at....
it was aiight upon the 2nd read. not sure why everyone one of your 2nd lines in each stanza contradicted the 1st or just didnt really connect with me. its kinda hard to comment on a piece that i dont understand so i'll just leave it at that. and maybe u can explain lil more for me |
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