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My Hometown
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2121887
See a girl walk down the street in her tight ass in jeans A place where the grass aint green and the gas aint clean You look to the right and you see a man buyin' a vest Look to the left and you see a man get shot in the chest A boy is seen runnin' down the street yellin' for help And behind him you see his father chasin' him with a belt You see an elderly woman sippin' tonic and tokin' chronic Always with the same smile..at age of 65 she was a drug addict Look down at the corner, you'll see a young male sellin' crack And after the the sale..the buyer shot him as he turned his back You see the homeless, makin' fire by burnin' logs of wood There's masses of them...this was normal in the neighborhood You hear tires screechin' and loud music ejects from a car This was a gang, they were noticable wit' the tats and the scars Then their rival appears, bullets flies and everyone takes cover When it finally stops...you look up and someone has lost a lover Through a window..you see a mother brushin' her daughter's hair Behind her is her father, beatin' down his wife and strippin' her bare I walk a few paces, and see people stop as they hear a pop I took a peek and noticed it was nothin'..jus' a death of a cop That wasn't a surprised, jus' like the appearances of whores And a business owner wit' a shotgun on the footsteps of his store You see endless tombstones ontop of soggy mud plains And around the graves you can still see the trace of blood stains Farmers begin to do their daily jobs by plantin' seeds Not to grow fruits or vegetables...they were growin' weed At gun point the helpless victims giv' up their money willingly And you see another family move out from countless robberies More sounds of gun shots can be heard near downtown Think you've seen it all? This was jus' the first block of my hometown...... Leave feedback please will return the favor |
i feel it... had some good lines in there.
is this non fiction or what? i like the analogies, the flow was real nice as well. good job lady, hit me up for a collab some time. |
thx fo da feed uppin fo more
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uppin fo feed....
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uppin fo feedback
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nice imagery definately, very nice flow and structure, and was feelin the whole idea, nice shit.
rtf in sig please |
This was a really nice peice .. i was really feeling it
Nice stuff ma , you had nice imagery.. Very nice flow made the verse run smoothly.. structure was alittle off..next time try to match up your bars ..and not make one line longer then the other , sorta makes a bar look stretched but it was still good dont get me wrong.. Nice emotions , and good feeling going into your peice.. You had a nice concept, good vocab and wordplay Overall keep it up , and hope to see some more om's from you |
damn I was feelinthis...nice imagery and emotion...wprd[play was sick, flow was sick...I liked this piece...we gotta collab on something sometime lol....9/10...rtf in my sig....
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Nice. Very deep. I liked how you gave us a direct look at how you live. It was very good and I actually knew what you were going through. I loved this drop and I want to see more of your dopeness. RTF wif my new song.........
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yo much respect...i like that piece...keep it up...
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Nice description, good show on emotion. I felt like I was walking down the street with you, would have flowed better with a few more multi's, but overall very good. Nice choice of topic. Keep up the good work. RTF. Peace.
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