Really Not Known 4 this but....
 

Yeah heres somthing i wrote


Beauty unmatched such plentyful words
stretched out upon a thousand fences
mended hearts attatched since first site
never let go for it would leave us dead
frozen souls and images partakin my mind
so i leave myself in the images of her with him
hearts broken once frozen now in thousands of pieces
i cry in pain and and think of death in my head
thinkin on the other side there wont be any feeling
so i let the blade slide against my wrist
let the blood tinkle down my arm as i get weak
site gets weary and i feel real light headed
thinkin this is death O! how silly of me
I feel the pain tensing minds traveling distances
blood drips i feel no pain anymore no way that is
And i lay down and my eyes dreatfully close
3 hours pass my heads not thinking straight
I relize again what love has done to my heart
Grab the gun think to myself will this do the job

i'll edit later with feedback.

alright and soon as u do leave a link

uppin
.............

UPPPPIn..damn...

daaaammmnnnn---thats heavy!! lol but i liked it! nice imagery and emotion!! :)

thanks girl...uppin for that feedback

no the imagery on this was nonsense you jumped all over and became too descriptive boring the reader with nonsense in the progress your poem basically never moved from one spot you tried vocab but it seems forced in many places here emotion was ok but worded wrong here this is a newb poem not wack but remains many venues for improvement it started off decent stuck in one spot then moved to the next and stuck there the topic has been done 938093875208-54 times already and much better dram queen did it real nice like a month ago your shit is neither creative ora good read you need to work on better imagery like you had in the first few lines and move around with your imagery better describe better whats going on in better vividness.