leap of fate
 

During the middle of rest
I’m awaken by an unbearable smell,
Slowly walking down the stairs
While tightly hanging onto the rail.

Sweat dripping from my head
Causing me to slip and fall down the stairs,
Landing violently on the bottom
Face to face with excruciating flares.

Burning into my flesh
And reaching into my lungs,
The flame touches my body
Causing my left hand to go numb.

Quickly running from the brightness
To the window standing ahead,
Looking over the filled street
To see that everyone else has fled.

People’s faces fill with horror
When they see me inside the building
However, what truly frightened them
Was that I was only fifteen.

Focusing past the glass pane
I see men with a large net arrive,
All consistently yelling
Telling me to hurry and dive.




Finding the item closest to me
I pick up a firm wooden broom,
And began to pound at the window
For an escape from this treacherous room.

After a few brutal connections
The window is finally cracked,
However, time is no longer an option
So I hurry and take a few steps back.

Now my heart begins beating
At a very unhealthy pace,
While sweat AND tears
Cover my entire face.

My heart slowly getting faster
Continuing to violently pound,
I take a few rapid steps forward
When I suddenly hear a cracking sound.

Yet, ignoring this noise
I continue to hastily sprint,
Blood pouring from my torso
As my flesh and the glass hit.

The jump that will decide my fate
One foot in the room and one foot out,
I look down only to see the Firemen scurry…
………………………………........
Floor by floor the structure falls to the ground.

*done quickly*

Excellent piece, I haven't seen the concept before and I absolutely love the title you picked out for it. The pace of the poem is so fast, it really gets you in the story and doesn't let go. The vocabulary was excellent, you found a great balance between complex and basic. I absolutely love the twist in the ending as well, you managed to keep your readers focussed throughout the whole piece due to your wonderful imagery and pure emotion.

Very nice piece, keep it up!

Uppin...........

Uppin...................

Feelin this piece, as DQ said, tha structure is fast paced and keeps you into tha piece. The emotion is amazing. Great Drop.

Overall...8.5/10

RTF on one of tha links in my sig