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SUPERVILLAIN vs Acuity
Crew Battle: CRHYME SINDICATE (C.S.) vs. 6 feet deep (6.f.d.)
Battle Rules: Topical: "Living with no legs" 6 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting ...good luck ac. its an honor to do battle with you. lets do this... supervillain......big bad c.s. Minimum posts to vote: 500 Check in by: 05-17-05 at 11:49 AM Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in. |
Acuity has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-17-05 02:49 AM.
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SUPERVILLAIN has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-17-05 11:23 AM.
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" A Disabled Fable" Born from my mother's womb, kicking and fighting my way from my natural tomb Into the light, blinding my sight....in my confusion hearing things from those in the night "Wow, look at his big legs"...hahaha..."Explains him kicking all the time, it was doing in my head" Even then, my limbs seemed vital to me, at such a young age, i have memories playin on the fields Football with my family, so them seems like a grain of normailty, reflecting now is saddening Running through the nights dressed in black so I blend as I depend on the dark In the parks, standing and listening to preachers as the move round talking of christs preachings Playing and earning respect, now without another, I'm an inatimate object, who people think might infect And wreck their young seeds, quite simply failing to see that disability is not a contageous disease Growing up as a child hoping to become a sports player to earn and survive my way through life That would be my fire exit from the ghetto strife, now i can only stare as everything passes me by I wonder why, in my brain im insane asking how the bible can be a book of subliminal lies Causing me to cry and look at disciple writings in contempt, conceit and despise Ive prayed and stayed faithful to thee, yet in a cruel accident you have taken everything from me Now in my sleep, is the only time I can realise dreams through closed and froze eyes Its the oppurtunity,My only portal I have, to escape the cage of disability in these wheels Im night imprisoned by steel, but by society and how it judges and preconcieves me Living with no legs, in my eyes is an evil fate, i would never debate, conversate, or wish on another person As it is a life filled with remorse, saddness and never-ending tears and internal hurting Tired of patronising comments of how life hasnt ended, and people pretending rights are equal Ask that same person to give you their legs, and watch them laugh and say "I'd rather be dead" Because this world is superficial, I wont knock it because thats the world is, no point fighting But in a world like this im easily oversighted, turned away because people are misinformed and frightened Thats my pain, fuck being comfortable with who I am, I just want to be normal again So I can run in the rain, and free my heart of this relentelss onslaught of debaught grief and strain |
"...LIVING WITH NO LEGS..." BROKEN... they ran to the bus stop, books in hand, hopin' its behind today they noticed their line and knew they were fine, they liked the slight delays both dropped on the bench, talked to the kids and snacked on yogurt to feed they looked over sheets of homework to think, then they heard the SCREECH!!! it was too late to react......the man in the Jag crashed where they sat he smashed in the pack and happened to wrap the back on a lavendoer 'Lac the accident ceased in a flash...pedestrians ran to the scene of the crash one child survived the impact, but was buried beneath debris in the grass weeks had passed b4 weakened Pat came beamin' back from unconsciousness Dr. Smith, Father Rick and Ma talked of the consequence...he caught the jist brother Chris, the twins and Jenn all died that day...he felt faint now then they stated, that to save him...they amputated from the waist down he understood the severity...the 10 year olds scream echoed uncomparibly Pat was forced to stay 'till Spring...to finish off his multiple therapies sorrow mounted upon his release 'cuz good ol' Denise (the medic) was cool anxiety grew, he felt like a freak and was postponing his headin' to school he put if off as long as he could......then he finally made his entrance nuthin's the same, it was entirely different...most his classmates kept their distance trust it took 3 years to get adjusted, but it was worth the work now its on to high school as a freshman, where he heard the jerks were worse if happiness was a masterpiece...then this new challenge was his canvas he'd paint from the heart and planned this, the second he rolled on2 campus he was met with immature comments and whispers from all sorts of scum 2day was the 1st day of the next 4 years...and there was much more 2 come were they aware? or did they care that their shared stares were unfair? poor Pat wasnt prepared...for those terrible glares left unbearable tares the chumps were 2 busy duckin' him to have ever had fun with him and punks were 2 busy punchin' him to have ever had lunch with him he hesitated to math, because he was degraded and berated in class some ignorant ass said "he deficates in a bag" so he's been paraded with laffs he was a nice cat......the type of guy to never try and fight back the 1 time that he tried that he got blackeyes and was tied 2 the bike rack he loses pieces of self, everytime unfair treatment was dealt he didnt believe in himself...and hated always needin' the help Pat wished to be home, in the safe place, surrounded by his bedroom walls instead of this insane place, where he wept alone in the restroom stalls things got scary, so Pat grew weary because he wasnt very strong things carried on for so very long, he knew the bullies had barely won Pat was hopeless and completely broken by the time he was a Junior his grades had slipped alot, so suicidal thoughts became his only crooner he got wasted, prayed quick, then popped everything he could and swallowed Ma found his body laying in vomit...next to his empty pill bottles Our Lord works in mysterious ways....Pat never got his burial rites he survived the attempted suicide and gained a new outlook on life he graduated with honors...then went away to college in the bay Pat hit his books harder...got smarter...gained knowledge and remained eventually he wrote 2 books 'bout the handicapped experience in our society the day his third was released.....it marked 10 years of his sobriety now he mentors troubled youths...and has established clinics and camps the "half man" outgrew his curse....all he had to do was give it a chance ...FIXED ...the supervillain of crhyme... |
nice drop ac. now lets get these votes in brutha.
oner... s.v.....big bad crhyme sindicate |
This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
checkin polls............................................. ...............
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This was feedback posted for Acuity
checking in to see the votes so far.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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^^^UPPIN' FOR SOME LEGITIMATE VOTES!!!^^^
s.v. |
^^^UPPIN' FOR SOME LEGITIMATE VOTES!!!^^^
s.v. |
uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp pppppppppppppppp
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^^^UPPIN' FOR SOME LEGITIMATE VOTES!!!^^^
s.v. |
Voted For: Acuity
Acuity: The Only Thing Wrong With Your Topical Verse Is That The Structure Is Off and Stretched but Besides That Your Good. The Verbal Imagery In This Peice Was Hot, Especially With The Multis Intwined With High Vocabulary. The Emotion Wasnt Too Strong, but This Peiece Really Wasn't For That..The Way I Took It. One of The Best Lines: "I wonder why, in my brain im insane asking how the bible can be a book of subliminal lies Causing me to cry and look at disciple writings in contempt, conceit and despise" Supervillain: Alright, First Off I'ma Have To Say That Your Verse Was Too Simple To Beat Acuity. I Felt Your Story-Concept, but The Verbal Imagery and Intellect That Went Into Your Verse Just Wasn't Up To Par. I Can Tell That Your Not Too Comfortable With Topicals Yet, but Once You Get Used To Them The Vocabulary Enhancement Will Come and Then Once You Expand Your Language..Concepts and Greater Lines Will Come To You. One of The Best Lines: "Our Lord works in mysterious ways....Pat never got his burial rites he survived the attempted suicide and gained a new outlook on life" My Vote Goes To: Acuity Good Battle You Two! Return Favor: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=190654 ~R~ |
This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
good drop.........felt yours a little more.........ending was good.....keep it up
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