everynite
 

I cry everynite just to sleep.
what am i to do?
I can't run, can't hide.
The past keeps haunting me.
scarying me attempting to come around,
seek revenge upon me.
My sould is weak. I'm begining to breakdown.
Can't escape this shadow its always around.
Gives off a fearful aura. scared to close my eyes
can't seem to find peace
every where i go death seems to follow.
Taking the lives of my friends and family.
It has me living and finishing this life alone

yea just a quick short drop...leave some feedback n i'll hit ya back

Hmmmmm, ok lil imaginary, but you needs to elevate on that. Nice emotion though, kid keep doing like that and your bound to be a good poet writer. I like the rhyme scheme you used, but keep using that rhyme scheme, and add more description and feelings on-to your poem's. It might be short but it holds a bigger amount of emotion.

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pz.

Thanx fa the feedback man...i'll hit up ya om...uppin

c'mon yall drop some feed pce

This showed your emoiton,but vocabulary wise,this could have been better, just take a chance and let the words pour out,and don;t stop yourself or cut it short,if you feel something,don't hold back,like i felt you did here. overall it was a nice drop, keep working at it..1

well what im going to say is, the LENGTH of this piece could have been better, in my eyes, you cut the story short, but i guess theres a PART 2 to this. your strongest part on this piece was.


^^^these were the imagery lines, this is what took me to a higher tinking.

but otherwise, this was a mediocre piece.