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-   -   .:: Plagued By Fear ::. pt. 1- Pretty damn dope. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192698)

Crazy Hades 05-27-05 03:13 PM

.:: Plagued By Fear ::.
 

.:: Plagued By Fear ::.

He sadly said his goodbyes, young eyes noticing a rash's purple shades;
mother's mottled skin rising horrors from bottled sins, as if cut by blades.
Hearing the rat's feet, scurrying as his mother turned skinny, fat beat.
Infected, survival a miracle, a feat as her voice grew gravelly like concrete.
Smelling the acrid odor, like the fumes from a battered and broken motor.
Rasping breaths from Sister, the listener hearing the sounds of dying smokers.

The scent of burning flesh could be smelled for miles as the dead were laid to rest,
laying in coffins for the corpses, poorly-dressed families acting as if possessed.
He charged through the wooden door, to the lands ravaged as if by a horrible war.
Almost slipping on the blood adorning the floor as the lone child began to explore.
Escaping the scene, though every place was identical, severely lacking pristine.
Each moment obscene, heavily-protected men shoveling bodies into bonfires in routine.

His sobs weren't audible as he ran wildily for a nonexistent safety, out of control.
An unconsolable, aching soul, a sad child searching without any type of set goal.
Every inch of the city was a tomb, lost and diseased children desperate for a home.
Every trash can thoroughly combed, by the road warriors that would silently roam.

Large fires would occasionally break out, followed by horrible, animal-like shouts.
A lands without a devout, following the rat's ways, each following their own route.
Searching for self-survival, the shimmering sun's rays doing nothing after its short arrival.
Everyone could hear the sad prayers for family revival, each human becoming a rival.

Kawn Flixx 05-27-05 03:24 PM

Dont forget to drop a link please, or this will be closed

Crazy Hades 05-30-05 08:43 PM

Alright. I'll get a link in a few.

Crazy Hades 05-30-05 10:03 PM

...............

Crazy Hades 05-31-05 01:59 PM

<< ............

Crazy Hades 05-31-05 03:13 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=193269

Crazy Hades 05-31-05 05:05 PM

>< Dfjnlnlsadh!

Dizzee Rascal 05-31-05 05:22 PM

Yea wasnt dope to be honest
Still good though
Some nice multi use felt if u shortened ur bars they would of been dope though


Searching for self-survival, the shimmering sun's rays doing nothing after its short arrival.
Everyone could hear the sad prayers for family revival, each human becoming a rival.

I liked that though that was nice

But for example about line length
Like a rash spreading before his young eyes, he noticed the purple shades;
the mottled skin rose horrors from his bottled sins, her skin cut as if by blades.

this either needed more multi's or shorter lines in it

Nice drop though content was nice, stay up

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2187545
Please return the favour

Crazy Hades 05-31-05 08:11 PM

How is it now? o_O

Crazy Hades 06-01-05 01:18 PM

Yargen flargen.


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