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-   -   Shadows Footsteps (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192923)

50Cal. 05-29-05 01:08 AM

Shadows Footsteps
 
As i walk into dark caverns of the heart
My light fades away a slow sunset my flame of hope only a spark
Each part of existence a mixture of componeants of life
My soul in the depth of waters drowning a fragile transparent poltergist
I grab the knife the blade a light to cut through the pitch black shield
Yet i only cut myself and feel what the light is to feel
And i feel and feel until its to real and my sights like the distant horizen
And as the plasma forms cherry red puddles of life i lose sight of where i am
I stand to fall yet we're born to stand only to fall again when we're choosen
So I watch rivers of clear sky blue fall from my face into the crimson oceans
Each step is a step towards deeper shadows and the walls of darkness close
As the hand of a King drops his crown and his body slumps in his throne

50Cal. 05-31-05 10:38 PM

uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp pppppppppp

H-N-I-C 06-01-05 03:55 PM

Well...definitely an excellent piece. You used a high level of vocabulary and it was perfect for this piece. Your rhyme scheme was good. Although a few line swere stretched it didn't really take a way from it. Great drop.

RTF on tha poem in my sig...please

50Cal. 06-02-05 10:43 AM

^thanks will do later on the returned feedback;)


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