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mizz fyre vs Paranoid
Battle Rules:
16-30 Lines Topic: Undisputed Thoughts No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Hate Minimum posts to vote: 100 Check in by: 06-02-05 at 02:39 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Paranoid has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-31-05 03:15 PM.
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mizz fyre has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-31-05 04:30 PM.
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Dawn breaks, gently I arouse from my dream, finally awake momma busy baking the cake, I feel numb, my head aches Sweet music playing, the whole family here, silently praying Wishing me well, for my big day, my thoughts are swaying I close the curtain, walk outside, the rain lashes my brown skin I grin at the thought of my family saying my future should begin “Come inside” my daddy calls, its time for you to get changed I feel sadness, by me this marriage couldn’t even be arranged The mirror reflecting my image, really slim and almost pretty Witty, maybe, but still I’m under the power of the “committee” My thoughts are undisputed, clear that I don’t want to proceed My heart bleeds, I need to leave if I have a chance to succeed Everybody’s smiling, they’re all dressed in their favorite suits Boots pricey, I recite my favorite song, try to forget my roots Embraces from close friends and enemies who make amends Giving me money and things but my family’s love transcends I glance at him standing proud, waiting sweetly for me to arrive My energy I try to revive, so nervous, to him I anxiously strive My skirt draping on the floor, I’m the first one through the door But my minds doing overtime, I don’t want to be here anymore I turn around suddenly, my heels slamming hard on the ground Oblivious to where I’m heading but home ain’t where I’m bound catch my auntie mumbling, I always knew that this girl was insane I think to myself, that ain’t true for once I’m using my own brain And my thoughts will see me through whatever life has planned Make a stand, unquestionable I’m finally under my own command………. |
Undisputed Thoughts Unable to eat properly, just cause I’m poor wishing to Christ Judgements such as life, the chance of me shining isn’t Right Apparently fate excluded me from all the political Decisions On such undiscovered missions, I’m stuck picturing Visions Such visions that get me frustrated, even more and more Hated Undisputed thoughts grasping my intelligence making me Rated My reality was broken apart, over all the unbelievable Fatality Furious thoughts and dream, such emptiness created Mentality I tried not to think about the disrespect, friendship didn’t Connect I felt stuck in confusion, feel never the less but only a Suspect The purity of my life’s sanity, really felt like an scary Illusion Dropped in the myth of a delusion, I couldn’t snap the Confusion The hate was evident, I could understand nothings ever Correct Hungry and all, I was always upset, life can never be Perfect Trying not to get to serious, the hunger gets just to Furious I begin to ask myself why, I think imperious and act so Curious Somehow I need to look for repetitive answers for my own Rights Keep on with the education, being able to see the bright Lights When my mom offered delicious food to my dad, I was Surprised Through the yelling, the actions of mom must have been Disguised I wish for a better living, moving would be for the greater Story Competitive rareness would bring fate to me, so I’d prove Glory |
Voted For: Paranoid
Pretty close one here... But, I'm feeling Paranoid a little more on this one. IMO, he had better imagery, and I could really feel his emotion that he put into this. This was a very deep topic, however, and both did a nice job, but like I said, I am feeling Paranoid a little more due to his emotion and imagery. I could tell he worked hard at this topic, so I am giving him my vote. Mizz fire, I was pretty surprised. You are one of the best topical writers on this board, but you delivered much less than what you are fully capable of. In my eyes, you just fell off a little bit, but its no big deal. Just make sure that you give it your all next time and not take it lightly. V/ Paranoid RTF and hit up any of the links in my sig Thanx |
This was feedback posted for Paranoid
Checking the polls................................
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DAWG SHE AINT THE BEST..........SHE'S AVERAGE :thumbup: :laugh: |
This was feedback posted for mizz fyre
Nice Babygirl but Im Just CHECKIN Polls>>>>.......
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hmmmm......o.k uppppin............................
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hmmm just get those topics so we can get our rematch battle done |
^^ uh huh..............................................
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you got them yet..................................
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Huh uh............................................
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where are they?...................................
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