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Give me some feedback
Got back to my yard, it was early in the mornin, Day ain't even dawnin, i'm stretchin n yawnin, Man's feelin para, feels like everyone be scornin, Feelin kinda down about da word dat i was born in, Its like i can't achieve jack without a fight, When i see my goals, there's always obstacles in sight, Either money be tight, or niggas wanna spite, There ain't sunshine in my life it always feels like night, Life full of thunder and rain, no clear skies, Never pleasure, there's alway's pain, what a surprise, Don't get it twisted, yo it wasn't always like this, Back then it was far too good for me to have to write this, But it's kinda funny how life can be conspirin, Puttin you through so much s, it's physically tirin, And you just be thinkin to yourself, no more, In da mood to walk away from life and close the door, But that ain't da man's route, dat shit's for little boys, Might as well get on with it, no time for makin noise....... |
Can i get some feedback please?
Fo real cos all my shit's gettin slept on. |
Uppin for feedback.......................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .....................................
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This was prety good, if this youre best peice, then i bet ure jus gnna get betta and betta return the favour on my "Know ya roots" OM please
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I Liked This Suprisingly...
When I Read The First 2 Bars I Wasnt Impressed... But It Really Picked Up And Saved The Piece Near The Middle And End... Didnt Really Have Any Imagry But The Emotion Was Pretty Good... And I Liked Your Flow, It Always Caught Up Nice At The End Of Each Line... Only Critisism... Maybe Tryn Make An Actual Storyline Next Time... Just Cuz This Topic Has Been Done... So Tryn Think Of A Story That Something Like This Plays Into... The Reader Will Enjoy That Much More... .One. |
ive never really given feedback before but i thought this shit was good.. just like da last nigga said da middle and end was better
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kinda simple.. needs a lil elevation, vocab wasnt all there, flowed good tho, nd i see ya emotion comin thru tha rhymes, good peice 6/10
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