End of my life (Intermental's re-invention)
 

Talkin: Im callin this the re-invention because, I realised that I was whack before I dropped this .....holla at Intermental..newly born


The burden is heavy, why do I have to carry it
My life in danger homie, but I have to cherish it
I dont want to go out this way, jus cos what happend that day
I know i mustve done sumthin wrong, even tho I pray
Lord dont take me away, damn I can see my dead body lay
Through the visions, the satan been givin
Lord I dont know much, but this aint no livin
Pick me up from the dark nights, rescue me from the bad times
The truth fuse from my brain, and expresses itself on these lines
My heart ripped through my soul and thrown away
Lord forgive me, I dont wanna die today

The tears fallin, the rain pourin
Showerin me with fear
My heart so dead its in mournin
Is the end of my life near?


My life going good, dont make me leave
It seems like im drownin, so Lord let me breathe
I wanna take my head out the water, let me see
I can see it in my mind, my enemies plottin to kill me
I knew it will happen one day, so lord whether the storm
Lord, Im turnin to you so protect me from dusk till dawn
I can see that glock aiming at me, i dont wanna die
This probably the last second in my life, so goodbye


The tears fallin, the rain pourin
Showerin me with fear
My heart so dead its in mournin
Is the end of my life near?

Nice sort of prayer piece

wanna take my head out the water, let me see
I can see it in my mind, my enemies plottin to kill me
I knew it will happen one day, so lord whether the storm
Lord, Im turnin to you so protect me from dusk till dawn
I can see that glock aiming at me, i dont wanna die
This probably the last second in my life, so goodbye

Nice content flow was nicest here not gr8 flow but str8 too choppy at beggining
Also the I makes the personal shown and shit nice touch to it

Yeah a decent piece def not the best ive seen from u or from this idea from other people but stll decent
stay up and do you

uppin................

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Ya know what i was feelin the content. Even though it was kinda negative depending on the way in which you look at it. The structure was well balanced overall, and it flowed well.
As dizzee said i think you've produced better material and are capable of producing a much better piece, but don't get me wrong, you shouldn't be disheartened though cos i think this piece is ok.
Just try to be more creative and expand on your vocab in future.
I'd give this piece like 6.5/10

thanks..........................uppinn...dis

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ive never read any of your other shit yet but i thought this was straight i would bump it

thanks ma....uppinnn

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Thanks homie...i like simple rhyming....because its easier to put a message accross

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