give me feedback if you want i dont hate
 

let me kno whats on ya mind
we could go on da grind
smoke it drink it fuck it
we could throw it down
fuck around
in da yard or in da dark
only want it if its large
only ride it whens its hard
im da kinda bitch like to get smart
like poindexter
leavin bitches to fester
in their weak ass rhymes
im calling out all the bitches
come flow against me
u could at least try
i see da dramaqueen
move over bitch im new to da scene
imma jump on in
like ya man did when he got in between
my legs took dat nigga all night
cuz i always make em beg
most niggas to me
is a quick easy lay

Yo ure flow was aiite.... u remind a nigga of brooke valentine....yo but u gotta work on ure structure...use syllables....every bar (2 lines) they should match....ya feel me....RTF on my OM....link in sig

can u give me an example

this shit sucks even for a girl...........................

oh thanks for the constructive criticism

Nice flow, poor lyrics. It however does have some promise. Your flow is gud and if ur new 2 the game then ur lyrics r gonna b shakey. Elevation is 4 u man, keep @ it u used all the rite shit, wordplay (even if it wasnt very gud) multis but ur rhymes were basic.

Use more multis, 3-4 syllable multis if u can and less basic 1 syllable rhymes.
Try 2 develope ur wordplay and use mor intelligent puns.
Keep up the flow it pieced together nicely and flow is one of the most important factors of a rap cos if it dont flow it sounds shit.

Peace

thank u for the feed back i am new to da game but just like homeboy said on one of my other flows posted yesterday i am typin it like i would spit face to face im used to battling in person not in text but ill just keep trying if you could give me feedback on some of the other shit i did yesterday that would b great