let me try this again...
 

yea i know im new to da scene, but i have humongous dream
of becoming the next greatest female emcee
like the bitches before me, who laid down the path
imma take the world by storm, let all yall feel my wrath
when niggas see me they dont know know how to react
they b like damn that bitch is white and she can rap
ya dats right imma always have a thug mentality
check out da fatality, of da streets
where i used to run, these streets let me know a bitches job aint never done
dont get it twisted, i dont depend on noone
im the only female in my crew, im making that money just like a nigga do
and i dont give a flying fuck if i hurt you
u tryin to play games, fucked wit my head
dats why all dem bitch ass niggas is dead
i changed my whold mind frame, i never let a nigga run game
cause yall only good for one thing, the dick and the money you bring
but on da real tip, fuck all dis bullshit, dat my mouth spit
actions speak louder than words. you kno me im just trying to get heard
bitches step to my level get ya face kicked in da dirt
all dat shit u talking bout, its just absurd
got mad folks hatin on me, but im still here
always gonna ride strong hope i made myself clear

o.k first thing ima say that you need to work on is your structure.....take the first few lines for example:

yea i know im new to da scene, but i have humongous dream
of becoming the next greatest female emcee
like the bitches before me, who laid down the path
imma take the world by storm, let all yall feel my wrath

try to make each line near enough the same length because it helps the flow....here the first line seems to be to long and that throws the flow....then work on expanding your topic.....give it depth because your rhyme scheme at the moment is just to simple......

aight thanks for the feedback i appreciate it all i can do i guess is keep trying i know it is simple but im learning how to expand it

Improve Structure, Up Yo Wordplay, But U R Gangsta Baby!! Keep Droppin & U'll Elevate, Scream@Me

that shit was whack.Give up rapping and stick to being a mother to ur ugly kids full-time.

nigga damn are u still talkin u are such a loser and so damn ignorant i wish u were here so i could have my daughter whoop your ass and for everyone on this sites information i do take care of my kids and work and go to school no nigga what da fuck do u do besides sit there and look ugly and hate on everyone else