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Kein Witz vs Os1ris
RULES LINK READ OR BE DQED FOR BEING NEWBISH
TOPIC-BLACK TEARDROPS |
check....
....hello OG :thumbup: |
Checkity.
OG it up, baby. |
Every drop resounds in my head
and each thunder bolt brings a smile to my face I'm truly happy when it rains. Washing away all my fear,and sadness Refreshing... how the sounds echo in my heart. I can't help but laugh. The clouds are breathing a loud sigh of refief. I wish you could share in my pain and joy and forget everything bad that's ever happened to you. Focus on the energy of this manifestation and forget your troubles. The stars sparkle with exuberence. The stormy sky brings silence to my restless mind. I can't think, I can't hear, I can't imagine anything but beatiful existence. I cry because I am happier now than ever before in my life. As the lightning cracks I scream aloud and a chill of fear runs down my spine. Nothing can describe my elation. The rain is falling free, each drop a speeding star, sparkling as it descends to earth..... ...Or is that a teardrop ....fallin from a black babies cheek at birth And off my face teardrops begin to disperse all these emotions maybe its not the rain.. ..but the black teardrops cleansing the aura of the universe. Blah...i really couldn't get a hold of this subject but i tried :thumbup: |
To envenom the environment, crisscrossed with hopes meager;
lands plagued by dark reigns, ruthless leaders posing as Caesar. The separation by segregation, colors treated like the diseased. Scars disfiguring the mass, turning skin into the trunks of trees. Screaming, "Please!", put together forever, united, long to last. Hopes setting sail, going nowhere because of the lowered mast. Tears spilling down the faces of those who were treated wrong. All of them suffering despite their prayers for them to be strong. A divine manifestation in the forms of those who fight for rights. Have what they wanted, because no shadows exist without light. CALI, you dare call this a poem and I will fucking rip out your eyes and feed them to motherfucking pigs. You do not tell people how to vote. Flow and structure don't matter in a poem, according to your rules. So I could make it so my shit was all over the place, but if I had all this emo shit, it'd still be a hot poem because you fucking say so? |
ok nice drop from both competitors the creativity will have to go to kein witz he had a little more descriptive verse but from vocab used and word strutrue will have to go to osiris he had more of dynamic words used hat i ahven't hurrd of in a while from other pieces but the thing is i liked osiris piece cuz it had this line that made me decide to give osiris the vote
"how the sounds echo in my heart. I can't help but laugh. The clouds are breathing a loud sigh of refief. I wish you could share in my pain and joy and forget everything bad that's ever happened to you. Focus on the energy of this manifestation and forget your troubles." that line was outstanding and outshined the both pieces so the v/ goes to osiris for having a beter word structure and the vocab used good job to both of u |
Pen, bro, read the rules.
Number five states: 1. structures do not count, 2. vocabulary is about 8 percent of it. I don't know if that'd really be counted. Who had creativity? That's 80% and pretty much wins it. And stuff. Read the rules CALI made. |
vote stays cuz he stated other areas were osiris outshined you at as well
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