Storm
 

Bumping This For Some Feed

OMG this site is seriously so wack.. i cant even get some feed on this

nice share of the acct. there -_-

UPPING THIS!!! god damnit

From The Depths of Hell, Araises Satan Disguised..
Back to a Glorious Re-Union For The Earth's Demise..
^^^nice opener. showed much emotion. nicely worded the couplet just flowed so nicely.

As The Wind Caresses my Cheek and I gaze at the Purple Skies..
I see Heaven And Hell Dueling with My Own Two Eyes..
^^^this was very nice, qouted very well. you put this in such simple terms for the audience to read so nicely.

Such A Rare Occasion, But Yet Such A Glorious Sight..
Staring Out My Bedroom, As A Bolt of Lightning Strikes..
^^^excellent. this has a great intention to really stanp the emtion into the reader, at this point you have lured the reader into the story.

Satan is quick with a counter, When A Loud Boom Shakes The Surface..
And My Palms Begin To Sweat, Upon The Outcome Im Nervous..
^^^not really a WOW couplet. but this is just a midiocre line. lacked a lil emotion but. this was there.

The Disaster Begins To Get Worse, Just As I Feared..
Awaiting For The Moment When The Clouds Split, And Skies are Clear..
^^^hmm. interesting concept. a nice key point i like is "When The Clouds Split, And Skies are Clear" this brought out the GREAT emotion in this.

Satan Retreats, And Slowly it Seems The Air Begins To Warm...
For Now The War is Over.. But I'm now Prepared For Another Storm....
^^^such a great ending. ""But I'm now Prepared For Another Storm"" damn this ending line was nice. it told the reader. "Yes i can stand strong again for another storm". this had such great UMPH in this piece. very nice. keep the good work up.

thanks for the feed

no prob. now vote me to be the new mod for this forum. pls.

Hmm, this was pretty good, short and to the point, basic, but the imagery was cool, coulda been better, emotion wasnt there, but didnt really need to be, coulda been thrown in but it wouldnt have made a difference, it flowed nice and you had some coo' vocab, but overall, it was good, but something was missing, iunno, but it WAS good though

i dunno, try leaving feed on other poems....:) :shoot:

word, this was pretty good, i liked the overall meta....structure was simple, yet worked nicely....overall, it was a enjoyable poem

yes boy........