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suicidal mind
everyday he walks in the street wit a faked smile he goes to a hiden place n´and reflect´s for a while no one nows he is anotha nigga wit a suicidal mind no one can see him, is like the world is blind he suffers because of the sadness he embraced its like god put us in this world, like pawns placed feels like the only way out is blowin your brains no one knows you until they see the blood stains try to cry for help but your trapped in the chains the guns there you can have it n´finish this 4 good but youll remember your momma cryin in the place where your body stood the times when you locked up your room and played the music out loud your brains all over the wall being watch by a curious crowd the people cryin cause anotha young nigga died but they dont know the pressure that you everyday cried there standing, the people that saw you deep in the eyes neva helped in your suffering, jus saw time as it flies but now is too late 4 comin back cause no one can dodge death wit a trap..... |
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comon niggaz gimme sum feedback
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Well,it was Ok.Flow was off at certain points however.Basic rhyme scheme but don't matter.
As for ur content....something of this topic needs to be packed with mind-blowing metas.U had some decent ones but nothing special.This was a decent verse...but didn't paint an image that'd stay with the reader for a long time.~1~ |
keep up with worldplay. vocab aight, flow, structure aight, creativity excelent, a lil rhyme forcing... keep up nigga.....
RTF.... c'mon |
aight..thanks 4 the feed
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Man... that's why I see you ain't gettin no feedback
elevate man!!!!!!....u need a lot of everything, I'd say 2 out of 10..... don't hate me, this is just feedback..... |
"no one can see him, is like the world is blind"
wtf??? this line is mine!!!!!! |
wtf is wit you dawg you followin all ma post n´sayin is wack n´shit......dawg you aint gettin me banned the more you try
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I kind of liked you man you dissapointing me...I just say the truth
you bited my lines...... thats outta the question (and you know that cuz I sent you that email and u said it was whack.. then you bit lines from me) |
you neva sent me an email......stop sayin crap..........
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Hater????......you the hater
I'm protecting my lines |
you know what......fuck this evrybody here knows you a liar am out......(I do hav a life dawg you betta get yourself one n´try to get your ass off the computer)
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chill out nigga!!!!!!!!!! you bit him and thats all.... now chill and continue ur "life"
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Kurt Cobain is my grandma
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