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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Hello (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195070)

Cocaine 06-13-05 09:45 PM

Hello
 
I Stopped By Your Home Today..
There Was No Conversation To Be Made..
No Specific Reason For My Arrival..
I Knocked On The Door.. No Answer??
You Were No Where To Be Found..
I Really Wish I Saw Your Face Today..
Ohh Well I Thought..
I Guess I'll Try Back Tommorow..
I Would Just Like To State...
I Only Stopped By To Say Hello..

~*Khatharsis*~ 06-13-05 09:52 PM

this was such a sad poem, didnt really show the emotion very well, but it looks like thats something that a little child would say to a girl that he's trying to be friends with but she is not answering him. this is very nice. but you could have focused more on the emotion instead of the story line. you based the whole story on HELLO. n not the extra drive to make it a WOW poem.

Cocaine 06-13-05 10:08 PM

the point of it was to be basic...

Cocaine 06-13-05 10:09 PM

but thanks for the feed bro..

~*Khatharsis*~ 06-13-05 10:12 PM

no prob. its just my opinion. but i can understand.

Cocaine 06-24-05 09:14 PM

Yeah Boy.......


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