My Sorries
 

Want to scream, want to seem, want to tell you what I really mean
But I can’t, I come off too strong, it’ll all go wrong and you’ll be gone.
I wish I could break it down some simple way, my mind all black
my eyes a haze.
All I see now is a blurry day, filled with gray skies and violet rain.
I see you there sometimes, I want to really love you, I really do.
But all that comes out are bitterness and hurt.
I berate myself when your gone, as I go and feel so burnt.
I wish everyone could see, the actual real me, the one that is
happy, carefree and energy.
But you see the bitch, the blackholed envy.
Every now and then you get a glimpse of who I can be, the actual one
who is loving and free.
But now all you see is the bitch to be, the girl who loves you still whole
heartedly.
You don’t deserve the treatment you get, the verbal abuse, the hateness
and jest.
You might say, eh I love you anyways, and can put up with it, but what about
tomorrow, what about later on today?
One day you’ll get tired of it, and if you go I’ll go mad, because I will have lost
a person who freely loved me back.
I want to say I’m sorry, for the way I am and might still be, I know I am a bitch
but I’m gonna be better eventually.

Fix your structure a bit gurl because many people will not read this just because they're so stupid to care about structure haha

I like this piece, the emotion is clearly worded, straight written from the heart which I am definitely feeling of course. Had some nice imagery for instance:

"All I see now is a blurry day, filled with gray skies and violet rain."

Like how the story develops and how you display your feelings, keep it up gurl :thumbup:

I'm feelin it. Its real true to heart. Structure or not it was a nice drop. Your ending kinda fell off for me, the rest of the piece made me feel like it was leading to something more, not just what it was. It's only the last line though, the rest of it was great, deep and emotional.