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Stalker
Everywhere i go i turn around and see her staring, Holdin a bunch of flowers in her hand while she be glaring, Cold looks lookin dead in my eye penetrating deeply, These days i'm so shook i've stopped feelin sleepy, Taken over by insomnia, dis cannot carry on, Stalkin my ass for a year i don't know what she wan' (wants), One time she set me her digits, but i didnt call, Then i felt her prescence hit me like a brick wall, Came up to me askin why i didn't phone her back, I told her ass i had a chick thinking that was that, Now i'm gettin poison penned letters from her ass, Fuck that i rolled out from my yard real fast, At the red i see a car pull out from behind me, Shit i thought i lost her, how did tha bitch find me? Look in her eye was cold as if if she saw red, Then i felt cold metal on the back of my head... Looks like i'm dead |
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this was interesting, something different, nice topic and you made everything flow real well, keep it up
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lol, since i actually know a guy who was stalked this is sort of funny, yet, poignant. good job.
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yep i like this, tru ..... dis is a unique topic to choose an u portrayed it well also
....... liked the last bit... dam... she must b real desperate lmao . overall gud drop altho cud av been longer ,,,,, keep droppin hot #### - 1- replt to dis........clik link.........return d favour .....tnx http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195552 |
Aight look,,,,
That rhymin structure was hot, and the concept was different and well thoguth out. I'd work on vocab if I were you and add in some more similies, metas and that sorta thing... In other words, work on wordplay. Also, it coulda bin longer but that dont really matter. Good work. |
Yo thanks people.
uppin for more feedback people............. |
uppin this piece.........
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