Beliefs
 

BELIEFS

When they say it gets better, wait for that promise to come
Sometimes you’ll be waiting a while
That just means every handshake and a smile isn’t a honest one
Blight is the night’s grin, God is righteous
It gets hard to fight this, cause life is trifling
The eyes are the windows to our souls
So I keep mine closed
I’ve done things I don’t want witnesses to know
Everyday you are blessed, so don’t hate it if you stressed
Negativity gets you no where, so dedicate it to success
Music injects a potent message
it’s hard to convince the youth that it’s drugs
I do believe love exist,
it’s just hard to find the proof that it does
Death’s a conspiracy to get the fraud pass our eyes
News is used to tell us our enemies and broadcast us lies
Life’s a desperate struggle to keep you hunting the wealth
You pray or get preyed upon
But you can make it if you believe in nothing but yourself

Copyright © 2005 Prolific D.A Poet

ok this was, nice in a very different aspect. showed a good amount of emotion. *breakdown*

When they say it gets better, wait for that promise to come
Sometimes you’ll be waiting a while
That just means every handshake and a smile isn’t a honest one
Blight is the night’s grin, God is righteous
^^^nice lines. but you kind of rushed straight into the story. in order to da that and for it to sound nice, write a little intro so that the reader can get worked up for the actual poem. i like how you brought GOD into the picture. very deep.

It gets hard to fight this, cause life is trifling
The eyes are the windows to our souls
So I keep mine closed
I’ve done things I don’t want witnesses to know
^^^sounds interesting, something like your coming out the closet. (not in a HOMO way) but you showing that you dont want some witnesses to view this. very intracate.

Everyday you are blessed, so don’t hate it if you stressed
Negativity gets you no where, so dedicate it to success
Music injects a potent message
it’s hard to convince the youth that it’s drugs
^^^ok, you were doing so fine up until this point. you had the keys going nicely then you switches up the whole flow.

I do believe love exist,
it’s just hard to find the proof that it does
Death’s a conspiracy to get the fraud pass our eyes
News is used to tell us our enemies and broadcast us lies
^^^o man, now its really starting to be all ova the place, but nevertheless, the emotion is still holding on. i like the wordplay, you had some nice deep ness in this.

Life’s a desperate struggle to keep you hunting the wealth
You pray or get preyed upon
But you can make it if you believe in nothing but yourself
^^^ok, it cleaned up a little bit, nice ending, good emotion. deep. but with poetry no matter what it looks like or sounds, the person thats reading this needs to feel the emotion, not what it looks like.

It may seem all over the place because I wrote that piece for a poetry tournament and the topic was my beliefs, so instead of just being real remedial and simple by saying I believe this each line, I wrote out my beliefs. So it jumps from one belief to the next but I tried to keep them aligned in some atrospect so I wasn't just talking about alot of random shit.

uppin...........

i liked this a lot, i was really feeling this piece, you said so much in so little words, good vocabulary here and everything you said was said just right.Some parts did seem crammed in, but you recovered your flow nicely, good job, keep dropping.1