Bathroom
 

BATHROOM

This morning shocked by an alarming clock sounding bold
Awaken me now taking a pea flush commode rush to hold
A tooth brush now teeth white, unique site now peek bright
Crave for a shave the Magic Cream tragic it seem must fight
It burned my chin, concern when that happens, that junk
Get old use Bump Patrol, deep swelling keeps me yelling like chumps
Smile galore standing on a tile floor facing the basin embracing
And erasing the motor of odor with Right Guard while tasting
The thunder alarm of under arm odor, my bathtub’s clean
On path love Listerine, fast gargles from glass bottles seem
To throttle my outlook and refresh my breath, faucet water ran
Like maple sap but able to slap some on nothing could slaughter my plan
Simple and clearer see pimples in the mirror grab a potion of lotion
Shea Butter may utter softness to my skin a costless blend like an ocean
My bath bloom in the bathroom, walls are sheet rock it’s all
A complete plot to start the day to be elite and hot all day yall

well, it's definately a unique topic, i have 2 give you that. lol not many people would rap about their morning bathroom routine. clever, i always have appreciation for innovative emcees. As far as the verse goes... the imagery was good, multis were everywhere, you stayed on topic pretty well, vocab was decent, and the structure was straight, too. But you lost me at some times that I had to re-read it because the lines were a bit stretched, for example, "On path love Listerine, fast gargles from glass bottles seem" i don't know if it was just me or if it was confusing. The wording was very flipped and twisted, too twisted that it didn't make sense, you know? The wordplay and metaphors were there, but they weren't very good. The multis, as i said before, were there, but i think that you started to build your verse around them rather than say what you want to say and incorporate them into your verse. Overall, i thought it was okay, but you could definately elevate. I tend to rate lower than most people, but i would rate this a 6/10.

thanks for the props on this one for real yall