Idealistic Reality
Brownish hypnotizing eyes as a mystery to my being Gently caressing your smooth caramel skin with a kiss Seeking your moist tasty lips as my sole companions Craving for your strong arms to hide me from the world Shivers down my spine by your mere breath on my body Touching me so tender like painting a true masterpiece So serene and pure yet so powerful and overwhelming ...Idealism... Fragile heart aches for I can only express through words Appearing on a cold, emotionless screen without passion Single salty tear escapes my greyish eyes when I realize That body of water might slow us down but won't stop us For our bond is too strong to be denied, I know you know How much I care about you although I cannot tell you yet Whenever you're frowning, think of me and flash a smile ...Realism... |
Interesting...thats a creative way to present a piece. Your choice of words was brilliant and painted a clear image in my head, especially in the first stanza "Idealism". Its almost not just a poem but something you could find in a novel. Well writtten piece, keep droppin ma
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damn DQ, you did this nicely. very deep.
Brownish hypnotizing eyes as a mystery to my being Gently caressing your smooth caramel skin with a kiss Seeking your moist tasty lips as my sole companions Craving for your strong arms to hide me from the world Shivers down my spine by your mere breath on my body Touching me so tender like painting a true masterpiece So serene and pure yet so powerful and overwhelming ...Idealism... ^^^OMG, great emotion, nothing at all qould i change on this piece, great emotion, Touching me so tender like painting a true masterpiece<<<<very nice wordplay, good form of structure. Fragile heart aches for I can only express through words Appearing on a cold, emotionless screen without passion Single salty tear escapes my greyish eyes when I realize That body of water might slow us down but won't stop us For our bond is too strong to be denied, I know you know How much I care about you although I cannot tell you yet Whenever you're frowning, think of me and flash a smile ...Realism... ^^^this was nice, damn this has so much information and is so very touching. you really dragged me into this story line. very intracate. |
Dope poem.very solid, an all around, well written and presented piece. I like how you interpreted both sides, very creative, and this piece has vivid imagery, keep dropping.1
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Thanks for feed peepz, it's much appreciated and I'll return the favor :)
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well this has more talent init than the other one I read. why the fuck isn't this one getting feed. you stupid bitches. read this.. uppin for you drama queen.
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now for my feed. liked both parts of this drop. but the top one was better... keep dropping and collab with me.. .please.
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yea ma i like diz piece it'z very creative & well put 2getha but i always liked ur work since i left tha last time keep writing
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^Thanks for feed man!
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DQ!!! damn girl this poem was deeep as a fuckin black hole no joke!...
the way you worked both sides into this was great, the incorporation of imagry and emotion was great, you just got a talent for anythin topical or poetic... overall i loved it very strong peice.. propz..uppin this yo! |
hahahahahaha. she told me you were a sweet heart..
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Brownish hypnotizing eyes as a mystery to my being
Gently caressing your smooth caramel skin with a kiss Seeking your moist tasty lips as my sole companions Craving for your strong arms to hide me from the world Shivers down my spine by your mere breath on my body Touching me so tender like painting a true masterpiece So serene and pure yet so powerful and overwhelming I love this girl :love:...Alright you had some nice meta'z here that surrounded imagination and emotion. Touching me so tender like painting a true masterpiece ^^ Love that line...Great wordplay. Your imagination was good too, like i can create a picture...and actually "Live" in it...this was a decent part of your verse. ...Idealism... Fragile heart aches for I can only express through words Appearing on a cold, emotionless screen without passion Single salty tear escapes my greyish eyes when I realize That body of water might slow us down but won't stop us For our bond is too strong to be denied, I know you know How much I care about you although I cannot tell you yet Whenever you're frowning, think of me and flash a smile -This part of your verse was the best aspect of "Emotion"..The imagination was good, but i think the best aspect of it was the emotion. Upp on your vocab, and you should putted some wordplays on this part..But this part was overall decent too... |
^Why thank you!
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