Journey my body
 

Use your finger tips to tease me
Slowly, gently, soft, weak
Feel my butter silk skin
Move your tongue to search my body
Kiss me here and there
Your manly hands to feel my body and soul
Taste the sweetness of my lips
Whisper "You want me" in my ear
Lick me up litely, taste all of me
Now make love to me softly
Be gentle with me, take your time
Mold me like a piece of clay
may our bodies become one
But be carelfull with me like a china doll
And when your done don't forget to charish me
Hold for a second and remember the journey you went through
and don't for get to remember what we just shared



wrote dis a long time ago 2

^^^ You didn't have to write me instructions ma, I was already planning to do all that LOL J/P
No seriously, this a good piece. It was written to be very sensual, and thats the impression it gives. Good drop, ma

^^^^
lol *throw out directions* well we won't need those lol...jp....thanks for the feed back papi

more feed back if u please lol

it's a creative poem . Though it's really that deep, it's sexy and it put u in that zone as soon as u read it

o man ma, this was deep deep deep. very sexy and very delicate. went through the things you want that guy to do to you, BUT. that guy should already know these things. but, you have broken it down to the point were your tellin that person what you want were you want it and not to forget what happened n not to throw you to the side like a piece of paper, and you want the both of you to cherish every moment like this in every special way.

ya kno i really don't know how to take dat....but thanks for stoppin by

what im sayin is its very nice. deep and intracate, the wordplay was very good. you showed emotion, you showed that you wanted to be touched and felt, and dealth with in a sensual manner, this brought out alot of feelings that you have trapped in you. you pored it out on the net to let ppl know that you would like to share this with one special guy in your life. to sum it up i like this piece alot.
9/10
















happy now ma.

This shit suked.................u sound like a true slut in dis.And ain't a muther?

Vocab was elemantary.Uncreative as fuq.........c'mon ya 21 yrs. old....ya can do better.

Even ya lil baby would slap you if she saw dis shit because it so whack.

Addin ur name to da list so when one of my battles close...I'ma battle u.

And
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FUCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^^
*grabs you by da shirt* do i have to kick yo ass out another one of my threads......STOP BEIN SO DAMN MEAN!

she might jus like u booty phat...but yeah, i liked dis...nuthin else to really say...well maybe there is...call me

:love:

Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.

dayum. when I see shit like that. wow. I'm gonna ask what these other fuckers didn't can we collab. lol. we. Nice way of saying how you want it. Something like is something I never read. hope to see more of that poetic sexiness. lol. drop some feed on my OM Feelings.

This shit is coo. Nice imaginary. I think it coulve been longer, but it was still coo.