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-   -   Unwanted Pain (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=196650)

Illumatic 06-24-05 12:28 PM

Unwanted Pain
 
Unwanted pain
It’s all dark in my mind… I’m stuck in my own mental box
The horrible reality I must face comes in waves of electric shocks
I feel like I am staring Lucifer himself strait in the eye
Looking right at my demise… leaving my spirit broken inside
As this needle goes deeper… I feel the poison invade the vein
I try to stop… I fight in vain… I fall below hell where the angels are slain
The ground is soaked and bloodied by a million pains
I might as well let my self go… cuz I feel it spiritually taking over me
This darkness is now my reality… like time; it will kill me inevitably
I try to throw it all away, but the death always come back
I get put it in a cell, but my inner darkness will always find a crack
I throw my kit across the floor hoping to escape
But it’s evil starts to take shape; not a place on earth I feel safe
With a thrust, my throat swallows the blade… my breath fades
The twisted petty life I lived slowly starts to decay
I can feel the deaths grip on my soul get even stronger
I just wish I could have fought the pain…just a little bit longer

Illumatic 06-24-05 12:37 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2237501

DQ 06-24-05 12:50 PM

Nice piece right here, very vivid imagery that portrayed a strong sense of emotion. The flow was definitely there, some multis here and there. Vocab was on point, structure made it nice to follow. Insightful lines filled with pure feelings, like how story developed. Ending was dope too.

Black City 06-24-05 02:10 PM

^^^she said it all fam...nice shit right here...loved tha way you MADE tha reader see what u was sayin...hot shit right here fam

return tha fav in either a battle or OM...links in sig

Illumatic 06-24-05 09:11 PM

uppin... id love you all if ya looked at this.... thax
and yes, ill return the favor on OMs

K-Trini 06-24-05 10:31 PM

This was a nice verse.Beautiful vocabulary.Nice metas.Flow was good throughout the whole verse.
Wat else can I say....one of the best verses I seen in OM.

100/100


http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=196731

Christianite 06-24-05 11:40 PM

this was good, good concept....imagery was decent, structure was good....the flow was easy to follow, overall nice drop, keep it up

2Fast2Furious 06-25-05 12:06 AM

Scary good. Gonna tell you that was hot man.

Illumatic 06-26-05 08:37 PM

uppin... i will read your OMs.... just post a link

Illumatic 06-27-05 02:51 AM

whats up with whack cats getting read but not mine? god damn it

Illumatic 06-27-05 08:49 PM

uppin fags... fucking god... you little bitches just CANT return the favors can you? fucking christ

B. Magik 06-27-05 09:30 PM

Iight this shit was better than expected.

Imagery was real good, emotion was excellent...This was a very solid drop man

Illumatic 06-28-05 07:47 PM

i love you.... LEAVE LINKS AND ILL HIT YUR SHIT!! UPPIN


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