I gagg
 

Palms of fingers on my wind-pipe
Gag....gagg
Sights of the devil eyes
My eyes weeps with tears
Gagg....Gagg
Feeling so light headed
Stopped struggling feeling so weak
Gagg...Gagg
My mouth wide open, air comes out
Desperate for more air to come in
Gagg...Gagg
See scars on your face from my fingernails
So deep, your blood Is what i taste in my mouth
Gagg...Gagg
My legs stop moving, hopeless like an loose leaf
I want to breathe, but i can't..I want to see but i cant
No gaggs...No gaggs
My tongue is hanging out from my jaw...
I taste the air..but my taste buds dont answer
No Gaggs...No gaggs
My body turning cold, my soul has been lefted
Life I'm departed...Heaven I'm now in

Quick key.........

*will edit with feed*

"I gagged" when i read this...you had a good idea but a terrible ioutput....my advice revamp it and up your vocab and play with your words...1/10 the 1 for effort sorta...jus being honest

Uh k Like i said quick key...............Uppin...................

naw i didnt think it was that bad for a quik key,nice job on being creative,good idea here could of did more with it, kind of weird style but word it was decent,the imagery was decent, you had a little emotion,anyways this wasnt bad, but also wasnt great,It WAS A LITTLE ABOVE AVERAGE......7/10 not bad for a quik key.....

Thanx Valor......................................Uppin

wanna topical tweety?

tweety, see valor agreed with me, its gud for a key, the idea, was gud like they all said, but u needed to come with more, but as u said it was a key and was gud for that, the emotion was cool, structure was a bit weird, your imagery was gud, i thought it was gud for a key, dont worry what the hater says.. werd.. uppin for this nice job.. :thumbup:

Thanx for the feedback uppin...........................

Aight, this was decent but I seen far better from you though. What's with the repetitive "gagg...gagg..." hehe. Nah but it's creative concept you went with here, emotion was definitely strongest aspect. Imagery was there but not too much though. Like your writing style, it's original and interesting. Keep it up girl! And rtf sexy :evilgrin:

just exactly what are you smoking? crack? 7/10? please my 9 year old cousin could write something better than that... don't even give credit to it for being a quick key

Uh.....ok.....Look you left a feed...Now bye....Everyone has different opinions.