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"How Do I Say This?"
this is my first Rv Poem so dont be downin it to much.. Words... lose value at my lips in my mind I've painted the perfect portrait and at the expense of broken silence it becomes not worth it at times silence cushions the elbow in my side that urges the utterance of truth How do I say This? I've done more damage than healing the band-aids have worn and the wounds still ache yes. the bleeding has stopped but my hands are hard, I'm clumsy, and I bite my nails does this look like a heart-haven for you? Don't make me hold it I'm afraid of dropping it at my feet and not being able remove the stain from my soul How do I say This? softly... I love you. enough to hurt you so the callous that forms will protect you if truth and lies hurts, I'll give you both with that, know this at your own discretion How do I say This? yes. I love you. FEATURED,NICE JOB~fluid |
Nice piece right here with very strong and pure emotion. I love the concept of it all even though it has probably been done before but then again what hasn't? Enjoy how you repeat the "How do I say this" three times and go into detail afterwards. It's nicely divided into several parts, showing the person's feelings and fear to say what he wants to say.
Keep going boy :thumbup: |
thankyou DQ feed back appreciated, more pleaseeee
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a tad bit played but still a very nice piece . for a first poem this was nice ... how long did it take you? but yea i was feeling the structure...the best part about this though was the emotion very nice
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I like your style...and the concept was nice...The approach you took was good. The best aspect from your verse was the emotion. Elevate on vocab, and the imaginary. Use decent meta'z next time. But this was nice for a first poem, had good emotion. I liked your style.
Keep it up...Leave feed on my poem called "Writer Blocks" |
yes mam! werd thanks for the feed!
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Beautifully written poem man, this had a nice flow to it, and your vocabulary described everything so well, nice emotion and it was heartfelt as well, this piece showed your style too, and for a first, great job,keep dropping.1
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thanks fluid :D werd.. bump....
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