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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Writer Blocks (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=197093)

Dervla 06-27-05 03:57 PM

Writer Blocks
 
*Scribbling, Scribbling*
I'm sweating, my lips are quivering
breathing so hard, my thoughts are gone
My hands viciously shaking, what am i thinking?
Ink is leaking, my thoughts are broken bond
*Scribbling, Scribbling*
Breathing so hard, my lungs are out of control
My Whole head is contemplating, please where are the words!?
The verbs, similies, nouns,puntuations, where are they!?
*gasping and scribbling*
My muscles are getting tense, the air is closing around me
*gasping. gasping*....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I can feel the nails going in to my head.
My mind is like an artist without it's paints...No Image
Your like an leech, Sucking my pen Life to dust
My teeth is clensing tighter...and tighter (grrrrr)
*gasping and scribbling*
*Rips, Rips* All the pieces of paper are on the floor
Like pack of drums are in my head...It's Pounding
*Breaks the pen* I can feel the ink coursing through my fingers
On my knee's, tears pouring on the ink in my hand
My heart is beating so wild...
*heart beats...beats....beats...beats...stops*

Quick key.................Leave feed plz.

E.C 06-27-05 04:01 PM

quick key? ill tell u this now it blew me away, i enjoyed reading it,,, it kept me interested all the way through.... the story was dope and your imagination was just wow! seriously the images u created in my head was some real deep shit

props on this really i loved it... keep droppin em pz

Dervla 06-27-05 04:07 PM

Thanx Uppin............................................. ...........

~sokaris~ 06-27-05 07:09 PM

this was nice. *mad*. i like the emotion that you portrayed. *mad*. you had great flow in this. *mad*. you lured me into the story. *mad*. you really explained alot. *mad*. i hate it when i get writers block. *mad*. but eventually my thoughts come back. *mad*

Nynth Degree 06-27-05 07:31 PM

I can relate to this...my head explodes whenever I have writer's block too, lol. Good piece home slice, keep up the good work.

DQ 06-28-05 06:36 AM

Already told you this on aim sweetie and I'm loving it, the imagery was nice and emotion was strong. I could definitely relate to what you were saying, I love how the story develops, especially the ripping of the paper was good. Solid drop, keep it up!

Dervla 06-28-05 07:52 AM

^^ Thank you.............................................

BiZzO 06-28-05 08:03 AM

yaeh, this peice was nice, i gotz like a permanant writers block, so it relates to me, lol....
i really liked the emotion that you put into this peice, along with the flow, that was sick, the whole story was great, good read.. hope you do lots more!

Dervla 06-28-05 08:17 AM

Thanx...Uppin..................................... ...

Os1ris 06-28-05 08:46 PM

Yeah i thought this was a nice piece ....basically because it was a key and even with that your flow and imagery were very nice...i like the content of the poem and also the main point of it..most people can relate with what you wrote and in poetry as you know...that you want the reader to believe in what you go through and if they have gone through the same thing it makes your poem that much better...Overall well-rounded piece keep it up :thumbup:

Dervla 06-29-05 08:15 AM

^^ Thanx Uppin............................................. .......

Artik Phrost 06-29-05 03:26 PM

i feel you in this....sometimes i get writers block...this was pretty sick for a key...ya images were on point to the fullest...and the emotion was crazy....good job, you got talent....

but, my group did a song called Writer's Block....its in the audio sections if ya wanna check it out

Sixth Sense 06-29-05 04:09 PM

wow man for a quick eky that was good very professional ive seen ur works in higher hinking but for topical and u outshine in both poetry and topical good job here like the creativity of it and how u put *as u were doing something like scribbling etc. and the vocab was good as well nothing here that u can improve on really like the piece and keep it up and drop more ok tweety

Dervla 06-29-05 04:24 PM

Alright thanx pen&paper.........................................

Paranoid 06-29-05 04:25 PM

well i read this over msn when you were writing it.

well the emotion is very good flow is made good because of your emotion. your stucture is a little different but its good. imagery is random so i guess its pretty good. overall nice piece im feeling it.

rtf links in thee sig


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